Those of you with long memories remember that just about a year ago I was preparing to attend the wedding of one of my best friends. Despite the build-up, I mysteriously never mentioned the weekend again which some of you surely found annoying and some of you never noticed.
I’d rather not get into the complicated details out of respect for my former friend. Needless to say, bad communication, weird energy, and selfish behavior all around caused what has amounted to an irreparable rift.
Keep in mind, this relationship spans over a decade.
So the question becomes, if neither party reaches out after an extended silence, is the friendship over?
Is it better to be stubborn, right, and lonely, or forgiving and rich with friends?
Or is it the very event of a wedding that shifts the agenda for all involved? Can some friendships simply not survive a wedding? Does the solidification of one relationship spell doom for another? Only if you hate the person your friend is marrying. Which isn’t necessarily the case here. It isn’t so much I hated the groom. It’s more that I hated who my friend became around the groom.
I’ve often considered reaching out to this friend, but something always stops me — usually one of my other friends who likes to periodically remind me how poorly we were treated at the ceremony after traveling many miles and undertaking great expense to support our friend’s union.
Knowing my dear friend as I do, I suspect she still checks this website from time to time. If that’s the case, I hope she knows that despite the obstacles between us I do wish her and her husband well. Perhaps now they’ve even begun on their little family.
Nearly a year has passed since we last spoke, and I suppose it is time to move this conflict from the active to closed file. I do so with a heavy heart. For many months, I held out hope we would reconcile, but some opposing forces are too polarized to ever meet in the middle. The only useful thing I learned in Brownies – Make New Friends, but Keep the Old. One is Silver and the Other Gold.
Our friendship may be tarnished, but this girl will always be gold to me.