Tag Archives: Rihanna

Demeter Clarc Manners Moment: Finish a Bite Before Starting a Sentence.

I admit occasionally I’m guilty of talking with food in my mouth.  As soon as I sense myself doing that awkward hand-in-front-of-mouth gesture while trying to articulate words, I feel gross and ashamed.  Chatting with your mouth full is a disgusting habit that unfortunately many of us indulge.  For some reason, we find the need to respond to conversation so urgent that we think we need to speak right that second – bite be damned.  Obviously, breaking this basic etiquette rule is disgusting and unappetizing for our dining companions, but it is also downright dangerous.  You could choke yo!  Most of us don’t spend enough time chewing our food anyway.  Digestion begins in the mouth with thorough mastication.  Skimping on this step means less nutrient absorption and an increased likelihood of indigestion.  Slow down and enjoy each bite so your body recognizes when it is sated and you get the most from your meal.  Let’s agree to finish a bite before starting a sentence.

Lysine: Sorry for the Herpes

Not long ago, an acquaintance had a cold sore the size of Saturn festering on her lip for at least two weeks.  The eruption was down right distracting, like one of those car crash situations where you don’t want to look, but absolutely can’t look away. I was dying to throw some Lysine in her direction.  Lysine inhibits the herp by repressing the metabolism of Arginine, another amino acid which acts as herpes food. Many foods contain Lysine in various levels.  For example, beans and lentils contain quite a bit.  Generally speaking, most of us don’t get enough of this essential amino acid to effectively inhibit canker sores without a dietary supplement. Clinical studies suggest that at least 1250 milligrams must be taken for significant results.  Keep in mind that gelatin contains Arginine, so definitely avoid Lysine supplements containing this counterproductive ingredient.Synthetically produced Lysine is cheaper than naturally sourced, but both seem to do the trick to combat fever blisters.  Use Lysine to ward off an attack, shorten its duration, and speed healing.  Lysine is a cheap, natural, and effective treatment for the herp – pass it on. 

Beyoncé’s 4 Problems

Beyoncé’s new record 4 came out this week and it isn’t very impressive or interesting.  The mainstream media blows rose petals up B’s ass all day long, but is she really all that?  The highly overrated Beyoncé has got issues, and here’s just 4.Some might argue that despite the success of Dangerously in Love and B’Day, Beyoncé has yet to release a seminal work.  In this download-the-single world, some may not see the importance of a well-constructed, complete album, but releasing an album with 2 hit singles and 10-12 tracks of filler illustrates the difference between a greedy paper chaser (Forbes top-earner 2009) and artistic integrity.  When Beyoncé is on, she’s really, really, sublime, see Ring the Alarm, Me, Myself & I, but her filler is so offensive it makes you question her overall standards.Beyoncé’s fucking boring.  Next to Gaga’s theatrics and Rihanna’s edgier sexuality, Beyoncé’s show looks like a cotillion.  Respectful, well-behaved, and lady-like, Beyoncé’s biggest rebellion is wearing a heavily-enforced diaper on stage and setting her wind-machine to high.  Hanging out with Gwyneth fucking Paltrow isn’t doing much for her swagger either.  These days, stepping out with Beyoncé is more akin to visiting with your proper aunt than raging with a rockstar.Beyoncé’s stuck in a rut.  The lyrically uninspired 4 sounds like it could have come out three years ago.  Tired and unoriginal, Beyoncé vacillates between deferential obedience and put-him-in-his place neck-rolls, all very well-tread ground for the artist. What’s new here?  Nada.

It takes more than a mythical range and amazing vocal control to make a hit record – just ask Christina AguileraBeyoncé works in all the grunts, runs, and big-note belting she can, but we’ve seen all these tricks before, and they do nothing to bring the snoozy 4 to life.

With all of Beyoncé’s access and resources, there really isn’t an excuse for this mediocre offering.  You won’t hear the truth elsewhere because Tina Knowles scares the shit out of everyone.

Demeter Clarc Manners Moment: put the phucking phone down

Folks have been seriously out of control with the cell phones for awhile now.  Chatting in the car, texting on the train, checking voicemail at lunch, the electronic leash has almost completely choked out authentic face to face communication.  Let’s agree the phone should never sit on the table or on your lap during a meal.  Who are you?  Doogie Fucking Howser, M.D.?  You must receive every communication instantaneously?Why not honor the person who is actually in front of you by turning the phone off?  Less accessibility = more mystery, so rethink the compulsive availability and occasionally please put the fucking phone down.


Of everyone, Keri Hilson turned it out best and most appropriately in Basil Soda. Predictably, metallic mania saturated the 2011 Grammy red carpet.  JLo in Emilio Pucci, and look at little Snooks werking an exaggerated shoulder. Selena Gomez looked ten years older in J MendelHeidi Klum improved over her last dress disaster with this Julien MacDonald. Kim Kardashian gambled on titty tape in Kaufmanfranco, Miley in Cavalli, and Rimes in Reem Acra. JHud channeled Naomi in Versace.  She’d be a contender for best dressed if the skirt had reached the floor.  From the waist down, the dress is reading budget. Ciara showed almost everything in Emilio Pucci.  Wrong shoes girl. Minaj in Givenchy, Gaga in Hussien Chalayan, and (to some extent) Rihanna in Gaultier served avant-garde, but their attempts at fashion rebellion felt a bit contrived. Florence Welch broke out the new Givenchy hot off the runway.  Katy Perry dug up her Halloween faerie costume from 2001.  Wings Katy, really?  That abomination is fucking Armani yo!Don’t love the dress, but overall, this is a vast improvement for Nicole Kidman who has been looking like dookie lately.  Natasha Bedingfield and Julianne Hough also donned florals and patterns.


For months folks have been chomping at the bit to get at Pink Friday.  Does it live up to the hype?  Does anything ever?Minaj comes strong, hard, and quick with tight rhymes paired with poppy techno beats and eighties revival (Simple Minds, Annie Lennox, The Buggles).  No doubt, this is a formidable debut worthy of your attention.The album is not without its flaws.  Nicki spits power on Roman’s Revenge, but whiny whiteboy Eminem’s tired woman-beating rants drag her down and undermine her credibility.  Why ladies like Minaj and Rihanna dim their shine with that misogynistic troll, I’ll never understand.Nicki’s at her best grimy and bass-heavy on Did it on ‘Em, though this moody track isn’t a likely hit single.

“If I had a dick, I would pull it out and piss on ‘em.”

Rihanna does some interesting vocal work on Fly, but I wish these two ball-busters had recorded a track with sharper teeth.  Collaboration-heavy Pink Friday also includes moments with will.i.am, Kanye West, and Drake.  Occasionally, all this collabo feels like gilding the lily.

Mostly, I’m just grateful for a fierce, uncompromising talent bringing something fresh to the scene.  Welcome Miz Minaj.


Truthfully, Rihanna’s new record really kinda sucks.  She musta caught the Christina Aguilera Bionic virus.  Symptoms include: repetitious, unoriginal, over-sexed lyrics, forgettable beats, and rushing out an uninventive, stylistically scattershot record.  Drinking, S&M references, and cunnilingus, this tired parade of pseudo-sex-shock is all well-tread territory.She’s at her best on this record (which in this case is minimally competent) when she puts on her shiny dancehall pants and works her patois, but don’t be thinking there is an Umbrella or even Pon de Replay buried in this mediocre mess.  You’ve surely heard the Eminem track Love the Way You Lie (Blair and Chuck wore that shit out a few weeks ago).  I have no use for Eminem, and I’m telling you their duet is one of the highlights of Loud.

Dumbest song on the record: California King Bed.

Songs that won’t make your ears resent you: Man Down and Raining Men, featuring the highly anticipated Nicki Minaj.

Covering Dan’s Tattoo

Demeter Clarc fan Dan wrote this week requesting advice for covering his tattoo.  First off, smooches Dan, thanks for reading.  I appreciate your kind words and your inquiry.  Second, this is challenging because I don’t have any tattoos.  My lack of ink roots back to my general policy of not making permanent decisions in my twenties, but I digress…Typically, all products recommended on Demeter Clarc are thoroughly tested in-house, but under these particular circumstances, that wasn’t possible.  After exhaustively reading hundreds of reviews from tatted folks on the quest for coverage, I have included some recommendations as requested.  While generally all of these products were very highly-reviewed, as with any product, there were mixed opinions, with some purchasers returning the product unsatisfied and others rating it five stars.  Since I cannot personally vouch for these products, take it for what it’s worth, and keep your receipt.I loathe Kat Von D.  Not just because she talks like a cross between a trucker and a valley girl, but even more so because of her recent association with that crustacean Jesse James.  Know what else is curious?  An accused Anti-Semite with Argentine-German roots associating with another celebrity who happens to be a swastika-enthusiast.  Read your history books kiddies if you need a refresher on Argentina’s history of harboring Nazi’s after WWII.  You are all smart enough to connect the dots.Despite my vitriol for Kunt Von D, she has two products aimed at covering tattoos: tattoo eraser and tattoo concealer.  The products are meant to be used in tandem.  First outline and fill in the tattoo with the eraser pencil, slowly layer the concealer over top, patting not blending, and then set with powder.  The pencil comes in one color and the concealer in eight different shades.  Reviewers also commented this pencil, in conjunction with almost any concealer, does wonders for dark circles, especially the impossible-to-cover genetic variety.

Ben Nye, a super well-respected make-up artist from Hollywood’s Golden Era, has a line of concealers aimed at covering tattoos completely enough to pass muster on film sets under intense lighting.  The range includes neutralizing crayons, tubs, palettes, and wheels containing several different shades.  The sheer variety available in Ben Nye’s reasonably priced line provides the best shot at a perfect skin tone match.  Of the products recommended here, I would put my money on Ben Nye. Dermablend has long been considered the gold standard for coverage in the Drag community.  The creamy, blendable consistency makes it a perennial favorite.  Dermablend is supposed to be waterproof and it pretty much is, but reviewers complained that the product transferred when brushed against fabric.There are a few other brands that popped up in my research: Tattoo Camo, Mehron, and Blood Mary.  Each of these products has certain limitations which kept me from giving them more real estate, but they may warrant your attention depending on your specific needs.With any of these products, the challenge is getting exactly the right color and finish.  This takes practice.  Be prepared to invest some time and effort into getting it just right, or don’t bother trying to conceal it all.  A poorly concealed tattoo is often worse than just letting it show.


Sick of short and tight?  Try long and flowy.

Bold prints look current.

Great for traveling…

…or dressy summer nights.