Tag Archives: Samantha Jones

The Fourth Peel

So those perky bitches at the spa convinced me to buy a six peel package.  I’m on peel four, (the first of which was not included in the package).  The results have been widely varying from peel to peel.  The first peel produced mild, but noticeable peeling.  There was definitely a “peel” day.  By the third sesh, I felt my skin had built up a tolerance, so when I entered my fourth I mentioned that the impact of the treatments seemed to diminish as the appointments progressed.  She decided to leave the peel on a bit longer to intensify the results. Coachella left a dust storm film on my face which I really wanted to remove.  I also endured significant and inevitable sun exposure standing in the middle of a polo field all damn day.  These truths, paired with my recent usage of Arcona’s Mandarin Brightening Peel apparently left my skin quite vulnerable because my face really fucking peeled.  Certain patches burned raw.  Not to mention how embarrassing it is to walk around with your face flaking off visible debris.  Not a good look.   I don’t believe I have suffered any permanent damage from my over enthusiasm, but I will never again challenge the aesthetician to intensify the power of the peel.

Better to have several mild peels with less irritation rather than one big inflamed peel that leaves you face-shamed for days.  

the deal with a peel

Yesterday I splurged on a light glycolic peel.  My cell turnover really lagged this winter, and I needed a boost with it being the first day of spring and all.  I’ve secretly wanted a peel since Brandi Glanville discussed them as part of her skincare regime in her stupid book.  I’m ashamed to admit my susceptibility to the power of suggestion.The results have already begun to emerge.  A stubborn hateful patch miraculously flaked away within the first 24 hours.  This spot has been testing my patience for months, so achieving meaningful results in the first day sold me on the procedure.  I enjoy immediate gratification.  I’ll keep you updated on the ongoing outcome over the next week.  

The Lasik Report

To speak from a fully informed perspective, I wanted to wait at least a week before reporting on my laser eye surgery.  Now after a full seven days and two follow up appointments, I see more accurately than 20/20.Is it worth it?  If you hate your contacts like I did, then yes.  You see better the very day of the procedure, there is virtually no downtime, and negligible risk.  No one has ever gone blind from Lasik – you know I asked. The procedure itself is quick.  It isn’t physically painful, but it is physically and psychologically uncomfortable.  Thankfully, the procedure only takes a few minutes per eye.  Clearer vision is immediately apparent after surfacing from the laser show and it continues to improve over the next 24-48 hours.It’s pricey, $1,700-$2,000+ for the most current bladeless technology PER EYE, depending on how you pay.  By my calculations, this range represents 3-5 years worth of contacts, eye exams, and glasses – not to mention the daily hassle and dependence.  Most of the major players in the game are national chains.  They specialize in laser eye surgery and have the resources to invest in the latest technology.  Most of these surgeons have performed several thousand procedures.  It obviously never hurts to inquire about the malpractice history and experience of the doctor performing the surgery.Two other considerations: approximately 10% of cases require revisions for a variety of patient-specific reasons, and later in life, you may still need reading glasses.As far as side effects, I suffered a small broken blood vessel in the corner of my eye, probably from bearing down on the clamp.  Dry eyes are pretty common as well.  Keep drops handy and it isn’t an issue.  Laser eye surgery has one of the highest rates of patient satisfaction, and it is obvious why.  What is there to complain about when you wake up seeing 20/20 or better? 

6 days to salvage 2011

If the day after Christmas has left you with a holiday hangover, consider using the last precious days of the year to accomplish a few unmet goals.  Rather than waiting until NYE to make some phony resolution, begin the new year with the confidence that comes from triumphing over obstacles.  First off, your space is filthy, so a good pre-New Year purge wouldn’t hurt, right?  Like when is the last time you really mopped?  What difference would 3 hours dedicated to tidiness make in your life?  What impact could a donation of all your unused crap mean to someone in need?  Now is your chance to make up for snubbing that Salvation Army bell ringer this year.  It is never too late for generosity.If your goal this year was to cultivate fun, you still have 5 days to plan an execute a bitching NYE party.  How about a trade-your-most-hideous-gift exchange party?  The fiesta provides another avenue to declutter (see #1) and an opportunity to trade it for something you might actually like, even if only ironically.

Schedule preventative care appointments.  Now is as good a time as any to schedule dentist, mammogram, colonoscopy and all those other screenings that can save you from critical malfunctions.  Maintenance is everything.  I care for you and want you healthy for 2o12 and beyond.

Here’s to rising to the challenge of accomplishing more in the last week of the year than bong hits and Teen Mom 2 marathons.

Sex and the City 2 looks like an Abu Dhabi Dud.

Admit it, they kind of shit the bed with the first Sex and the City movie. JHud sucked and four grown-ass women screaming every time they saw each other was fucking annoying, but I’m worried this second one is going to be down right dreadful.

Karaoke concerns me.

I’m confused by the ergodic locale choice and horrified at rumors of menopause talk.  I like my SATC menopause-free, thanks.

This is just fucking unforgivable.

80’s fashion porn replaces wedding fashion porn this time around.

More Anthony Please.