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Not even 100% sure I like this Actress album R.I.P. yet, but I’m giving it a go as an electronic exploration.I’m thoroughly enjoying Santigold’s long-awaited Master of My Make Believe. SEE HER LIVE!Spiritualized dropped a fresh album in April called Sweet Heart Sweet Light; snatch it up if you like what Spaceman’s selling.Check out Reign of Terror from Sleigh Bells, their powerful follow up to Treats. Last time they left me hungry for more; this time around I’m sated. Emeli Sandé somehow manages to exceed the substantial hype surrounding her U.S. breakthrough with the sublime Our Version of Events.You, me, your Aunt Alice, and everybody else I know is listening to Blunderbuss, Jack White’s consistently strong solo effort. How about a cover album from the Counting Crows? Try the country-influenced Underwater Sunshine (Or What We Did on Our Summer Vacation).Listen to the evolution (or regression depending on your perspective) of The Mars Volta on Noctourniquet.Had to give MDNA a spin just to see if it was as embarrassingly bad as everyone said it was. Sadly, it is. Even though at moments it is lyrically immature, Marina and the Diamonds’ new record Electra Heart is still big fun and has more teeth than the fluff put out by her saccharin pop contemporaries.Not everyone will get the brilliant Julia Holter, but consider challenging your ear with Ekstasis. Both nostalgic and fresh sounding, The Cranberries are back with a new album titled Roses. Dolores retains her distinct and memorable vocal flavor.
I know, I know, you are all Coachella-fatigued. Tell me about it. This is the last Coachella-related post, promise. Just thought you would like to know a few of the less advertised secrets of the Coachella festival.Most of the hot guys were gay, most of the straight guys were doughy. Seriously, most of these guys are in their twenties and thirties and have love handles. Not cute. Ratio of hot girls to hot guys 20:1.Coachella has a reputation for being a celebration of drugs in the desert. True, the attitude towards drugs, grass in particular, is quite permissive, but considering the heat and intensity of the experience, the kiddos by and large kept it together. That said, I did have a little fainting spell myself after a bad churro. Stay away from the churros, cinnamon and sugar dipped Styrofoam. Special shout out to good Samaritan “Joey” who lent a hand to my panicked pal while my brain rebooted. The dominant fashion silhouette was 80’s, 80’s, 80’s. Think high-waisted shorts and booties. Lots of shorts, lots of legs. Some good legs and ass, lots of mediocre legs and ass. Some bitches just straight up wore a 2 piece bathing suit.Who rocked? The Rapture, Wild Flag, Santigold, Girl Talk, Florence and the Machine and EMA. Who disappointed? Gotye, Pulp, SBTRKT, and ultimately Dre and Snoop who basically did a cheesy medley of popular rap hits over the last 20 years, some theirs, some not. For the record, the Tupac hologram was an abomination.
CAT POWER personal favorite: You Are Free
GIRL TALKold standby: Feed the Animals
more recent: All Day
SANTIGOLDfresh for 2012: Master of My Make Believe
THE RAPTURE2003 classic: Echoes
2011 standout: In the Grace of Your Love
WILD FLAGdebut: Wild Flag
Summit on the Summit premiered last night and I tuned in because I enjoy the sight of celebrities suffering. Watching celebrities rough-it has satisfying aspects, but no one in this ninety minute movie explains what the fuck climbing this mountain has to do with fresh drinking water. They keep saying the “Global Clean Water Crisis has brought us here,” and “we are bringing awareness to the problem,” uhhh, okay, how? They don’t seem to be asking for donations or providing any clean water, so what does this have to do with the clean water crisis?
After pulling out of the trip at the last minute, Justin Timberlake limply introduces the documentary. Jessica Biel signed up for this thinking she and Justin would be together, and then he drops out and she’s stuck climbing a 19,000 ft. mountain while he bones dancers back in Vegas.
Let me point out a few things about this little “philanthropic mission,” 248 porters (sherpas) were used to haul the celebrities’ shit up the mountain! These pussies only carried twenty pounds, “desperate, water-less” Tanzanians carried the rest of the celebrities’ belongings, food, and gear ahead of the group to the top. Wow, you guys are really roughing it!
In addition to the Sherpas, a tech crew is sending “daily dispatches to the web via satellite so that we can engage people in the clean water issue during the climb itself.” I’m not sure why since this climb has no ostensible connection to the creation or distribution of clean water.
When the celeb-climbers reach each camp they are greeted by fully prepared meals of grilled cheese, warm soup, and fried chicken prepared by the natives who have trekked up ahead to ensure the most luxurious camping accommodations possible for the spoiled twats.
Predictably, Emile Fucking Hirsch whines about the intolerable pain of his ingrown pubic hair. Call in the Tanzanian National Guard Emile!
Santigold is so fucking cute and never complains, and if you haven’t listened to her record Santogold that should really be your first priority today.
Isabel Lucas cries about being cold; bitch if you had some body fat you wouldn’t be freezing. That is price you pay for having a BMI of 18.
Biel guts it out and I’m floored she completes the mission with nary a complaint. I have to begrudgingly give it to her, she has grit.
Mighty Mount Kilimanjaro mocks the group’s misguided attempt at philanthropy by throwing snow, sleet, and rain at these twats every step of the way. Truthfully, I was hoping for a complete celebrity meltdown, and chances are there were a few that didn’t make it into the documentary, but in the end everybody nutted-up and reached the summit.
Even at the top of Kilimanjaro, I’m still not sure what the fuck this has to do with clean water and I’m not sure anybody else on this trip does either. I’m left wondering, could the time and resources expended on this trip have been better used to distribute clean water packets, dig a well, or create a reservoir? They don’t even ask for donations. I hope this little documentary does “bring awareness to the clean water crisis,” but the best I can tell this was a pampered ass trek up Africa’s highest mountain by a bunch of misguided Americans.