I adhere to the philosophy that life is mostly just a series of problems. If you are particularly lucky you will experience tiny patches of peace in between. I discovered today that Chase Bank has been charging me an undisclosed fee of $12 a month for most of the past four years. This obviously made me fucking irate. I went to talk to the ladies at the bank. They give you the same story. “We can take off three months worth of fees as a courtesy.” Most people would be satisfied with this crumb. Me, I escalate. Kindly, I thanked entry-level customer service representative for her help and her willingness to refund some of the fees. I informed her I would not accept a partial refund. If she could not offer me a full refund of the fees, then I wanted to talk to someone who could. Up to the next level, bank manager, she had the authority to refund 8 months of fees which I graciously thanked her for, but still would not accept. Let me speak to your supervisor if you can’t refund all the fees. Then I got the regional manager’s number. I will deal with her Monday morning, but I’m willing to wager that I’ll get all the fees refunded before this is over. You don’t have to yell. You don’t have to fuss. You don’t have to insult those working for minimum wage. Exhaust the resources of the person you are dealing with and then move up the ladder. Keep moving until you get someone who has the power to give you what you want. Of course, sweetly reminding them that you have no problem “exercising your rights under the arbitration clause” accelerates the process. Subtle threats to complain to the appropriate regulatory body also works well. If all else fails, let them know you will be contacting the Better Business Bureau. Conduct yourself with poised professionalism under all circumstances, but remain unrelenting in holding them accountable for their shady business practices. And yeah, I’m looking at you Chase.
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