We begin where we left off with Whitney picking up Tor from the airport. Tor’s crashing at Whitney and Alyssa’s house until she gets settled in L.A. Whitney admitted it’s a bit of a U-Haul situation. Alyssa, Tor’s cousin, worried she would fall victim to Whitney’s persistent pune juggling and get her newly-lesbian heart broken.Tracy and Stamie played three-kids-two-mommies over in Silver Lake. “If Tracy took a second to think about this and break it down, that bitch be running down Ventura Boulevard. I’d have to stop her with my vehicle.” Amen Stamie. Tracy complained of exhaustion after one evening with the kids, and again in the morning when Nico woke her up. She obviously lacks the grit required for successful step-parenthood. These two ain’t gonna make it.
Nikki optioned Sexual Fluidity as a television show. She and Jill met with the author Lisa M. Diamond to discuss the project. The women have a strong connection to the book; Jill recommended it to her parents to explain her mid-twenties transition to lesbianism. She also admitted that despite wearing an engagement ring from Nikki, she struggles as identifying as an openly gay woman, saying “it doesn’t feel like it fits.”
At the Abbey, Tracy, Stamie and the local lesbian pick-up game shared drinks. Whitney arrived and made a bee-line for Tracy. Stamie looked absolutely thrilled the playa was paying her snatch attention. Whitney got sidetracked when Romi, last week’s drama, showed up begging for scraps. Bitch gather your dignity, she’s just not that into you. Later, Whitney tried to give Romi good phone when Alyssa came outside to remind her that Tor was twiddling her thumbs inside. Whitney lied her ass off trying to put out the fires erupting all around her.
Jill’s “best friend” Derek flew in from San Francisco, and Nikki showed visible signs of jealousy as Jill showered him with adulation. Nikki confessed she can’t compete with a man, but after seeing Jill’s engagement ring, I’m not sure a man could compete with her.
Mikey drug her assistant and intern to the party for her big Hollywood Chamber of Commerce induction. She actually made her minions flank her, because she likes to be surrounded by hot chicks. Mikey continued to try to reach Raquel until the very last moment, but in the end she didn’t show in time to see Mikey receive her recognition plaque. They met up outside, and Mikey was clearly disappointed. Mikey wants a supportive housewife, not a busy career girl. Raquel’s absence at this event signals the beginning of the end for these two.
Rose and Natalie hosted a crew at their crib for game night. These alcoholic bitches downed drinks like frat boys before breaking into a chant: “SHOW YOUR TITS!” Drinking brings out the bully in Rose, so Natalie complained to a drunk girl in the kitchen who looked like she might projectile vomit at any moment. Rose told Natalie to relax and said she was being “catwalk?” Nothing inflames an argument more than telling someone to “relax,” so Natalie retreated to the bedroom as Rose bragged about fucking five girls at a time to her buddy on the patio.Alyssa tried to talk some sense into Whitney by presenting all her recent shadiness in a concise, linear manner. Alyssa pinned Whitney to the wall and didn’t let her weasel out with excuses and rationalizations. This dose of brutal honesty was exactly what she needed for momentary clarity. Value those who tell you the truth; they are exceedingly rare in a world filled with placatory cowards.When we met back up with Rose and Natalie, the evening spiraled further into a drunken argument. Natalie called Rose rude, and Rose told Natalie to move out. These two probably made up and fucked that night. It doesn’t make them soul mates, it makes them weak and predictable. Apart from Nikki and Jill, is there a couple on this show that’s got a chance?