Tag Archives: Shakira

May 2014 Horoscopes

TaurusTAURUS TORI SPELLING

Happy Birthday Taurus!  After a month of oppositional and tense energy, you are ready for a change both outwardly and inwardly.  Whether it’s a freshening of your personal appearance or a sprucing of your home, invest in a few significant upgrades in May.  Mother’s Day could be a real bitch this year.  Particularly reactive on the 11th, it’s easy to slip back into childish patterns.  Remember you are grown.  Give a nice gift and a pleasant (albeit forced) smile.  Keep your mouth shut or stuff it with pancakes.  Before making any big promises socially or professionally to team up and dream up, view the entire situation through a critical side-eye.  Get nakedly honest regarding the commitment the collaboration entails.  Don’t allow leisure activities originally intended for fun to become burdensome and stressful.  Scale back birthday plans to your nearest and dearest.  Not everybody and their cousin merits an invite.

GeminiGEMINI JOLIE

The days before your birthday are for quiet retreat, Gemini.  The spotlight will soon be yours, take care of any messiness or undone chores nagging your subconscious.  Gemini’s spring cleaning includes weeding your friendship flowerbed of unhealthy additions.  The energy on Mother’s Day could present a number of challenges.  Expect tense family dynamics if you plan to spend the day among loved ones.  Play with the kiddos as an effective strategy for staying out of the fray.  Concerning your health, when is the last time you had a check-up or any preventive care?  Take care of yourself.

Cancer

Embrace light-hearted fun in May, Cancer.  Twirl around parties.  Gossip and flirt.  Enjoy yourself by keeping conversations easy breezy.  Celebrating Mom may feel like a real chore this year, or you may not feel like you are getting credit where credit is due from your own ungrateful offspring and spouse.  Tense energy in the crabshell foreshadows a change in the domestic sphere.  Towards the end of the month, quiet the noise, slow down, and meet unmet obligations in preparation for your birthday.

 LeoJENNIFER LOPEZ LEO

Tap into your blonde ambition Leo, May is the month to make shit happen in your personal industry sector.  Light a match under your ass at work and go for it.  If you can’t see yourself moving onward and upward at your current grind, then put your energy into finding a more rewarding career.  Either way, your efforts will be rewarded.  May showers manifest as tears on Mother’s Day this year.  The tense energy makes for uncomfortable family gatherings.  If you know you can’t control your reactionary temper in the familial context, then limit your dealings to the minimum you can politely manage.

 VirgoBEYONCE VIRGO

Virgo embraces adventure in May.  The daring could take many forms from the obvious – last minute travel – to the less obvious – a meditative journey inward.  Whatever trip you take, there’s a lesson in it for you.  Mother’s Day might be a mutherfucker for reasons beyond your control.  What is within your control is your reaction to unprovoked attacks.  Take a few deep breaths, imbibe a cocktail, and focus on what you love about your family.  With regard to your central relationship, you gotta decide if you are all in or all out because nobody can keep track of your pendulum swinging heart.

 Libra

Libra craves intimacy and meaningful connection in May.  Spend time with your sweetie cuddled up at home.  The oppositional energy of the Grand Cross carries into May.  Libra certainly felt the harsh angles of this unusual stellar arrangement.  Why not take a self-imposed recovery period?  It’s a nice way of sparing us your moody discontentment.  Usually the family diplomat, this Mother’s Day your peace-making talents take temporary leave.  Mid-month, enjoy a burst of full moon Scorpio energy that stimulates career success.

 ScorpioWHOOPI GOLDBERG

Scorpio loves powerful partnership, and the desire to collaborate works up a hunger to define your latest relationship.  Total devotion forms the foundation of your dream union.  Most beings are not capable of that level of intensity or the totality of sacrifice required for mating with you.  Don’t belabor unsatisfying affiliations.  Honor your Ma on Mother’s Day whether near, far, or departed.  Extra-raw on the 11th, Scorpio’s got tail up, stinger poised.  Retract your weaponry Scorpio, today isn’t the day for offensive maneuvering.  We’re all suffering under the same strain, so send up a puff of compassion instead of attacking the weak and vulnerable.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius is ready for some late spring cleaning in May.  First, file your paperwork and thin the stacks of clutter.  Next, pull out some pots and plant yourself a little windowsill garden.  The plants will nourish you in unforeseen ways in the coming months.  They will also clean the air and pump your home full of fresh oxygen.  Ferocious family dynamics have the potential to ruin Mother’s Day.  Unable to hold your tongue under this irrational influence, Sags could be major contributors to the chaos.  Even though at times it feels as though you’ve outgrown your friends, your own self-limiting beliefs are the source of most of your misdirected judgment and criticism.

CapricornCAPRICORN KATE MIDDLETON

Capricorn gets especially expressive in May after feeling downright repressed in April.  For the most part, this chatty streak works to your benefit.  Mother’s Day is the major exception.  Thoughtless comments and misconstrued humor could spark intense overreactions.  Bring a nice gift and stuff your face with food.  Lay in the cut and don’t be a dick.  It isn’t up to you to fix your family.  Instead of wasting energy on unsolicited advice for your clan, apply that care-taking energy to yourself.  Spend the last week of May organizing your life.  Tidy your home.  Eat better.  Refresh the wardrobe.

 AquariusSHAKIRA AQUARIUS

After an incredibly intense April, Aquarius requires a respite!  All the drama, stress, and conflict depleted your resources and patience.  Of all the signs, you are poised to deliver the best Mother’s Day as either the recipient or giver.  However you chose to celebrate motherhood, keep it low key and pampering.  Now is not the time to plan the world’s most elaborate brunch.  Even French toast can’t compete with selfish tantrum throwers – who are bound to make an appearance on the 11th.  Mid-month, an energetic boost in your career helps you decide if you should stay or go.

Pisces

Your noggin is stormy with ideas in May, Pisces.  The notions come quickly and without much elaboration, so keep a notebook handy to jot down thoughts as they strike lightening fast.  A cloud hovers over Mother’s Day.  Pisces acts out with unpredictable moodiness.  If you are struggling to maintain your composure in your toxic familial soup, think of them as strangers and just be polite.  You wouldn’t overtly roll your eyes at a stranger across the lunch table, so don’t do it to your sister at family gatherings.  Towards the end of the month, Pisces feels especially emotionally vulnerable.  Spend this time alone or with a few trusted pals – no needy whiners!

 Aries ARIES REESE

With May comes a healthy dose of reality, Aries.  Start with an assessment of your finances.  Look at your accounts and compare the credit to debit columns.  If you’re running a deficit, you must reverse the flow from outgoing to incoming.  In order to do so, you will have to sacrifice some of your material desires.  Put quality thought and effort into honoring your mother this Mother’s Day.  Defy your selfish reputation by seizing this wonderful opportunity to display your thoughtfulness and love.  Aries’ sexual relationship gets a surge of intensity from the scorpion mid-month.  Everything you’ve been holding back will come spilling out in a gush of brutal honesty.

JUNE 2011 HOROSCOPES

Gemini – arms

Mutable and governed by air, Gemini’s moods, ideas, and opinions shift as easily as the breeze.  Others may find your fickle personality frustrating, but versatility provides a distinct advantage in certain situations.  Geminis have a leitmotif of fun, relaxation, and good times this summer.  A care-free fling, platonic or romantic, imbues new energy in the atmosphere and adds a little glide to the stride.  Financially, June proves unpredictable, so mellow on the extracurricular spending.  Don’t front the cost for your own birthday fun.  If cheap friends bristle at the expense of the celebration, leave them out.

Extra special Birthday Shoutout to Demeter Clarc’s favorite Gemini and in-house tech-support EMC.  Without your genius, DC could not be. xox

Cancer – chest

Here we are in June, what have you accomplished so far this year?  For Crabs, the answer is quite a bit – thank you very much!  All the recent upheaval has taxed your energy and resources.  Be especially mindful of overdrafting your account, literally and metaphorically.  The stars signal self-indulgence, but since you trend toward giving into worldly desires, consider a novel approach to self-care.  Maybe a cleanse or meditation retreat?  The second-half of 2011 looks fruitful, with broader influence and game-changing leadership opportunities at work.

Leo – spine

“Got a secret.  Can you keep it?  Swear this one you’ll save.  Better lock it, in your pocket.  Taking this one to the grave.  If I show you then I know you.  Won’t tell what I said.  Cause two can keep a secret.  If one of them is dead…” The Pierces Secret song is your theme this month.  You got your lion paws on some intel which suggests an opportunity.  How will you play it?  Always popular with the opposite sex, June connects Leos with an insightful comrade who guides you towards an epiphany concerning your life’s work.

Virgo – belly

June serves up a slew of group gatherings; some aspects of the get-togethers will be pleasurable and others annoying.  Dress comfortably so one of the irritations isn’t ill-advised attire.  Throughout this year, Virgos have struggled when ethics and money clash.  June is no different.  Prepare for the possibility that this fermenting struggle might blow this month.  Virgos spend time and energy sprucing up the abode.  This investment brings about a new sense of domesticity, happiness, and renewed feelings.

Libra – skin

Feelings of anxiety surface due to unpredictable relationship and career news.  Don’t freak; everything will go according to design.  Make stress relief a priority, keep up with yoga, meditate, and take unpressured strolls.  In-laws suck up some attention in June.  Expect a flurry of extra emails, texts and errands that will vampire your already taxed time.  One area of concern you can set aside?  Finances.  Libras enjoy a gilded June.  Save more than you spend.

Scorpio – genitals

June rains bank on Scorpios from multiple directions and sources.  Even though Scorpios roll in the deep, keep out of the shops a third of the way through the month to avoid credit issues.  June ain’t great for travel; take a riveting book and expect delays.  Try to maintain your pleasing personality, because when your mood sours, you take everyone down with you.  For many Scorpios, more sex = more patience, so work on getting laid regularly this summer.

Sagittarius – hips and thighs

Spend energy creating connections through communication and compromise this June.  Sagittarian cooperation impresses others and leads to a variety of beneficial relationships.  Perhaps even locking down an engagement or major commitment?  Keep the pocketbook shut this month Sag.  June is rife with potential financial complications concerning your credit/debit cards.  Use cash when possible, monitor accounts, and follow up on any suspicious activity within three days.

Capricorn – knees

Family and work feed into an already stressful Capricorn head space this June.  Under times of pressure, Caps often turn from their close confidants who are best equipped to support them.  Fight the impulse to push others away, and make time to decompress with a special someone.  Fail to heed the stars and invite increasing conflict.  June creates a favorable environment for creative expression.  Get back to what you love, or check out something you have been itching to try.  Capricorns aren’t usually big gossips, but listen for the dirt at the work place this month, so you’ll be prepared for the shit that goes down later this summer.

Aquarius – calves

Aquarians battle haters trying to dim your shine this month.  Keep the guard up and protect your interests.  Find support and restoration with good company and light-hearted entertainment.  Trying to conceive?  The stars look favorable for a new edition.  Find a cool, dark room to retreat to for extra rest when life’s pressures become overwhelming, especially towards the end of the month.  Invite others to visit you; Aquarians risk perilous travel in June.

Pisces – feet

Ramp up for a busy twelve month run Pisces!  Family relations brim with positivity and warmth.  In contrast, friendships suffer mid-month.  Don’t let the conflict spiral out of control, especially if plans are already in place for travel with this person later in the summer.  Instead of engaging in tense bitchery with amici, let your light shine by showcasing your extraordinary talents.

Aries – head

The eloquence faerie visits Aries, bringing the gift of mellifluousness.  Deliver grand speeches and professions of love because Aries will articulate thoughts in a particularly clear and memorable manner the first twelve days of June.  Take a holiday the 1st and the 15th, or hell, take a holiday the 1st through the 15th!  Why not?  The piggy bank’s fat with bacon this June.

Taurus – neck

After a busy May, June serves an optimistic and uncluttered outlook for Taurus.  Enjoy sunny bright mornings and lazy evenings on the deck.  Bullheaded as usual, Taurus experiences relationship drama at nearly every interaction, whether personal or professional.  Shoulder some of the blame for the discord.  Always responsible with the dough, look out for the opportunity for more delicious cake to sweeten the deal in early June.

 

 

Shakira: Sale El Sol

At first, I didn’t love Shakira’s new album Sale El Sol, but after five or six listens, it really started to grow on me.  Typically, I prefer my Shakira obsessed and tormented rather than optimistically cheerleading for Africa (Waka,Waka, yo).Personally, I think the title track, Sale El Sol, a mid-tempo snooze-fest, is the weakest of the album.  Devoción is the album highlight among a few other strong selections (Antes De Las Seis, Rabiosa).Now let’s talk about Shakira’s cover of the XX’s Islands.  Loyal readers (gracias!) know that we majorly heart the XX here at Demeter Clarc, and frankly Shakira’s version is no where near as good as the original.  Since the xx came out less than a year and a half ago, I don’t see the point of this unnecessary and not particularly inspired cover.One other small complaint: of fifteen songs, the last four are remixes of songs that appear earlier on the record.  So between the cover and the one-song-two-ways gimmick, Sale El Sol definitely contains some empty calories.