Tag Archives: sick bitches

steamy soother

GINGER HONEY LEMONIn the midst of a deep freeze, we need warming.  Bored and unsatisfied with the standard tea, coffee, hot chocolate options, I crave a more nourishing and soothing thermal beverage.  First, it’s time to resurrect my juicer.  Gather organic apples, lemons, ginger, and raw honey.  Juice 2 apples, 1/2 lemon, and a half of a thumb of ginger.  Dissolve a dime size dollop of raw honey in hot water.  Add honeyed hot water to juice to create a steamy, soothing, fruity comforting wintertime drink.  This concoction eases the sting of sore throats, provides a substantial kick of antioxidant immunity boost, and is deeply, deliciously, snug.  Ginger is an anti-microbial and steaming the root unlocks its decongestant properties.  Honey coats the throat, and lemon and apple provide vitamin C.  It’s worth the trouble if you are feeling low.  LEMON GINGER

4 for Friday

First, as predicted by many, Nashville lived up to its golden pedigree.  This isn’t a show about country music per se.  It is a modern soap set in a town run by country music (which is a meaningful difference).  Connie Britton hasn’t ever disappointed me, and I’m so happy to see her strong performance drive this staring vehicle.  Hayden Panettiere isn’t really that good of an actress so I’m assuming she was typecast because she delivers a surprisingly nuanced performance.  In sum, Nashville is worth tolerating a twang for.

Are we boycotting the Isabel Marant knockoffs?  Some of the downmarket versions are cute, but isn’t it embarrassing to wear something when the inspiration is so obviously stolen?  A quandary for sure, especially for those on a budget.  My opinion?  The copies I’ve seen are a little too close, but not close enough to get it quite right.  This time save up for the real thing or pass altogether on this tired trend and start a new look that’s all your own.  With autumn comes a vengeance of sneezers and coughers.  I know these cold sufferers are feeling really sorry for themselves, but seriously, cover your mouth and wash your hands.  Here’s a novel notion: if you are that sick, stay home, sip tea, and ask yourself why you were Patient Zero among your clan during this season of sickness.

In the market for new workout wear?  I get so many compliments on my Margarita yoga pants made by hand in Israel.  They hold up as well as Lulu, but have much more personality.

 

fuck cats

Cat lovers scroll on through.  I’m about to go on an anti-cat rant that’s going to make your pussy hurt. (Michael, Katie, I mean it.)  Why am I filled with feline vitriol you ask?  Because I spent the day bleach mopping cat piss out of sub-flooring, that’s why.  WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH CAT PISS ANYWAY?I know, I know, you love your cat.  Your cat does for you what no person could.  I get it.  Do you get that when cats get old they piss everywhere and it is FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE to remove the smell?  Do you realize a nuclear apocalypse would not eradicate that stank of cat pee from your apartment?  In addition to destroying your home with their incontinence, cats can transmit diseases and parasites to people including, but not limited to: Toxoplasmosis, Leptospira, the Plague, Rabies, roundworm, hookworm, ringworm, Salmonella, and tapeworm.  Yeah, keep letting kitty climb all over your kitchen.  Add a side order of tapeworm to that PB&J. As you all know, I’m a staunch defender of our animal friends.  I don’t eat or wear them.  But I also don’t keep any pets for a variety of reasons.  Do I really hate cats?  No.  Do I really hate irresponsible dirty-ass cat owners?  Fuck yes.  And while I’m getting up after all you pet owners, dog people CLEAN UP FIDO’S SHIT.  Why don’t I take a dump on your lawn?  How about that?  Fucking gross yo.

101 degrees

My optimism and supplements weren’t quite enough to kick this persistent flu.  I checked my temperature, 101°.  Scary right?

What to do?  I hate the hospital.  Why?

Check these frightening stats.

  • Between 44,000 and 98,000 Americans die each year in U.S. hospitals due to preventable medical errors (Institute 0f Medicine, 1999).
  • 195,000 Americans die a year due to preventable errors (HealthGrades, 2004).
  • 99,000 patients die as a result of hospital-acquired infections each year (AHRQ, 2009).  The most common HAI agent is methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA) (AHRQ, 2008).  90,000 die as a result of nosocomial (HAI) infections (CDC).
  • Hospital errors kill more Americans than breast cancer, traffic accidents or AIDS (IOM).  Just one type of error — preventable adverse drug events — caused one out of five injuries or deaths per year to patients in the hospitals that were studied (AHRQ, 2000).
  • Errors like these are responsible for preventable injury in as many as 1 out of every 25 hospital patients (4% of hospitalizations) (AHRQ, 2000).
  • Adverse events (of any kind) occur in 4% to 14% of all admissions. 50% to 70% are due to preventable error (JAMA, 2009).

I just had lunch with my good friend Dez, a nurse, and she was saying she was looking forward to picking up the night shit.  If I remember correctly, some insane night shift from 7:30 pm to 5:30 am.  What the fuck?  I asked her, “Do you find your quality of attention suffers when you are tired?”  She replied, “Yes, but the night shift pays more.”  No judgment on her, it is the system that needs a major re-haul.  With residents on 24 hour shifts, how many of those medical errors listed above were a result of simple fatigue?  So needless to say, I will not be going to the hospital.  I’m working a fresh-squeezed juice regimen – carrots, celery, orange, and apple for nutrition.  Currently, food is a repellent thought.  They say to starve the flu, right?  Silver lining?  At least I’ll take a few pounds off before Coachella.  We’ll just call it a cleanse, yeah?  Don’t judge me for that last part.  This flu is making me delirious. 

 

I feel like shit and I’m going to bed

Good morning muffins.  Sorry to kick off the day with a whine, but I’m so fucking sick with the flu I can barely see straight.  I don’t know if I have ever experienced body aches and pains so intensely.  Sitting hurts my ass.

Loyal readers know I’m skeptical of pharmaceuticals and even over the counter stuff freaks me out.  One of my best friends lost her thirty-something cousin to a mixture of OTC cold medicine and wine.  Never woke up.  Two young kids.  I realize this is anecdotal evidence, but considering she is dead, I’m willing to give it some weight.

So what will I do to get well?  First off, I went to bed at 9 pm last night and slept ’til I naturally woke up.  I propped my head up to help drain the congestion.  I have a really mucousy dosha. Supplements. I go back and forth with supplements because there has been quite a bit of research on their efficacy or lack of efficacy, but right now I’m desperate, so I’ll load up.  On what?  How about probiotics, cellular forte, alpha sun, and omegas?  Hopefully these immune boosters will do the trick overnight, and by the time you read this I will wake up shiny and new.   Hope you are all feeling healthy and happy today.  You know I love you the most right?  XOXO, DC

nap time

Have you been pissy, fat and accident-prone lately?  Consider this…

1) Inadequate sleep can make you fat.  Studies show that chronic sleep debt is linked to increased appetite and energy expenditure.  Some argue that Americans aren’t gluttons, but instead just really, really tired.2) Sleep deprivation can make you psycho suggest studies from Berkeley and Harvard.  Lack of sleep can cause distortions, erratic emotional responses, and unpredictable behavior.

3) The American Academy of Sleep Medicine proved that sleep deprivation makes you sloppy.  A person’s driving ability, math aptitude, and general response time significantly diminishes when overtired.4) Sleep deprivation is torture.  At least the Russians, British, and the U.S. have used sleep deprivation as an interrogation technique.  While not every country has defined the practice as “torture,” those that have suffered through imposed sleep deprivation describe it as worse than restrictions on food or water.5) Not sleeping enough can make you vulnerable to illness.  Sleep deprivation causes our T-cells to decrease, and inflammatory cytokines to rise.  A weaker immune system leaves us open to colds, flu, and a whole lot worse…Take care of yourself this fall by extending the sleepytimes whenever possible.  Bright-eyed bitches wake up less hateful, look better, and conduct themselves more competently.  Imagine what a better world this would be if we all had the luxury of a solid nine hours.

Sniffle Season

As we forge ahead towards the official commencement of winter, many of you bitches are sniff, sniff, sniffling around, calling in sick, and bringing your coughing children to Target.  A bout with the cold or a tango with the flu is not a wintertime inevitability. 

Humidify

We’ve chatted about the importance of sleeping in humid air for beautiful skin, but did you know that low absolute humidity prolongs influenza survival, thereby increasing transmission rates?  A well-maintained humidifier is a must.

Neti

A neti virgin’s first experience may require some self-coaxing and good old fashioned nutting up, but once you do it, you really will feel so much better.  A natural alternative to cold medicine, the neti pot cleanses the sinuses and relieves congestion.

Gloves

The cheap magic stretch gloves work fine.  Create a barrier between you and the world during sick season.  Glove wearing ladies of yesteryear were on to something.  Keep your hands off your face, regardless.

Veggies

Yeah, yeah, you are sick of hearing the virtues of vegetarianism.  Well, then go read Ted Nugent’s site.  Cranberries, collard greens, sweet potatoes — pretend veggies are Skittles and taste the rainbow everyday.  The benefits for you, the planet, and the animals are immeasurable.  Veggies offer a combination of nutrients like magnesium, potassium, folate, vitamin B6, and antioxidant-rich flavonoids in a nutritional package superior to supplements.

Sunlight/Vitamin D

The Sun can be a rare treat in many parts of the country this time of year.  If it peeks out, make a point to take advantage of it.  The Sun is healing in a variety of ways.  Take time to bask in it.  Supplement the sunshine with vitamin D if you are deficient.  In the past, the spotlight focused on vitamin C for its immune-boosting properties, but recent studies have linked low vitamin D with respiratory infections.

Probiotics

Advocacy for probiotics has been gathering momentum for the last few years.  It may seem somewhat counter-intuitive, but recent studies demonstrate a favorable relationship between a balanced gut and resistance to catching colds and flu.

Sleep

How much do you love to sleep?  I love, love, love to sleep.  If I could fuck sleep, I would, totally, with abandon.  To truly assess whether you are sleeping enough, go to bed (dark, cool, room, no distractions) at the same time every night for a week and sleep until you naturally wake up.  By the fifth, six, and seventh days your body’s sleep schedule will begin to regulate, giving an accurate gauge of how much glorious unconsciousness you require to awake your most well-rested, gorgeous, not-grumpy self.  Besides, people who sleep less than seven hours per night have three times the risk of catching a cold than those who slumber for eight hours or more according to researchers at Carnegie Mellon.