Bethenny was invited to walk in the annual Heart Truth Red Dress Fashion Show to raise awareness for heart disease. This event resulted in major red lipstick/red dress overkill. Red dress, nude lip please. In general, Bethenny does look good in red; however, a belly cradle is not a runway walk. Just walk bitch, save the cutesy shit for your lame Learning Annex lectures. Afterward, she went shamelessly trolling for compliments from Jason before turning into a four year old when he inevitably told her she did great. What does Jason know about runway anyway? He tucks his button-downs into his jeans.
Upholding her Skinny Girl values, Bethenny ate cake and icing for breakfast as she and Jason discussed adding an addition to Team Bethenny in the way of a new assistant. We also got to see their new apartment in Tribeca which has a connecting office for Bethenny’s biznass.
Bethenny interviewed several candidates for the position, including an intellectual food-writer and a few gays, before settling on hot, straight, Jewish Max. Cookie basically made the decision by curling up at Max’s feet instead of attacking him like she did every other candidate. If Bethenny fails to discipline Bryn like Cookie, that kid is screwed.
At Megu, Bethenny and Jason put down half the animal kingdom while discussing their impending nuptials. They agreed to a relatively small wedding (40 guests each), but Jason was hesitant and emphasized that his friends and family’s presence was important to him. Then the two argued over whether Jason could watch the watermelon shoot out the cannon. Jason wanted to see the baby born and Bethenny wanted to keep her cooch concealed; neither anticipated her guts would be laid out on a table during an emergency C-section.Bethenny confessed that she was planning on seeing a therapist to help her cope with her father’s death and all the changes in her life. Then Jason declared, “I think if you’re a couple and you need to go to counseling, it’s over.” This relationship is so fucked, seriously. It really doesn’t appear that these two agree on anything. Before you know it, Bethenny will be doing a reality show as a New York single career mom à la Kelly Cutrone. Cut to Bethenny arriving at Dr. Amador’s office, camera crew in tow, to reveal her deepest feelings about the loss of her family, her relationship, and pregnancy. Bethenny admitted that Jason wants people around all the time and she doesn’t. Dr. Amador inquired as to Bethenny’s parents, and she disclosed that she more or less has been out of touch with her parents since she was fifteen and never really had a relationship with her dad. She confessed that even on his deathbed, her father failed to acknowledge her in a way she desperately needed him to for closure. Dr. Amador concluded, “If I had the experience you described I’d be terrified of relationships.”
Max showed up for his first day of work, and Jason came in to beat his chest and mark his turf. After giving Max a little grief, the two bonded and ended up fist bumping much to Bethenny’s chagrin. Would you hang a picture of your bare ass in your office? Just asking.
Jason reminded Bethenny he was leaving for Florida the next day and she panicked over the housewarming party. Jason’s life-long friend was coming into town, and Bethenny didn’t want him and his girlfriend to stay at their apartment. Bethenny, as a New Yorker, have you not realized that house guests are a part of urban living? She totally over-reacted and unleashed her pregnant pit-bull attack on Jason in the kitchen. They argued over the issue all the way to the jeweler to select their wedding bands before they agreed to shelve the argument during the shopping. Since Bethenny explicitly mentioned the name of the jeweler, the rings were probably free or deeply discounted. Therefore, Bethenny’s statements about paying off the rings were totally disingenuous. Me no likey that fake ass shit.
Bethenny prepped for the gathering and complained about having to meet the expectations of guests attending a chef’s party. While she and her gay Chuck hassled Max over his metrosexuality, Bethenny received a call from Jason as the camera panned to ominous snowy weather. Jason dropped the news that he was not going to make it in time for the party, and this threw Bethenny into full on hysteria. You already have a fucking camera crew living at your house Bethenny, what are a few more friends? Woman up, get over it, put on a smile, and host the shit out of the party. Bethenny’s discomfort manifested itself as mania, and she prattled a little too loud and fast to all the guests as they arrived. In another sign this relationship is doomed, Riccio, Jason’s best man, clearly hated Bethenny as she interrupted and dismissed him to talk about herself. Bethenny complains that fame went to Jill’s head, but it is moments like these where Bethenny proves just how self-important and unlikable she’s become. Alex and Simon brought a housewarming orchid (nice touch), and Alex offered to throw Bethenny a wedding/baby shower. Jason called to apologize to the group for missing the party. Bethenny admitted all the drama was in her head, but his friends looked truly uncomfortable that they had been left alone with the megalomaniacal reality star.