Tag Archives: Sluts

slut reformation

REALITY BITESI’m taking this new approach to relationships where I wait at least a month before fucking.  Exercising self-restraint can be difficult, but it’s not impossible.  Within a month, most people reveal themselves.  By removing the influence of sex on the early days of a relationship, I can clearly evaluate whether the partnership has legs before my whole heart, soul, and body get tied up in the decision.  I’m not saying I don’t get down to some extent.  The probationary period is a good time to get a bright light look at his junk to make sure there aren’t any areas of concern.  Enjoy a good retro makeout sesh.  Take this time to find out if he’s got any bratty kids, psycho exs, or a shitty credit score.  Use this month to weed out the pigs, weirdos, assholes, morons, and cheapskates.  This is not some purity ring propaganda.  It’s about particularity not prudishness.  I’m a feminist, so do what you will with your vagina, but also think back on your checkered sexual past; when have you regretted NOT having sex with someone?  Exactly.          CHER CLUELESS

The Most Annoying People at the Rock Show

BUTT GRABThe guy who leads his girlfriend around by the ass.FLAILING BITCHES

The woman who over-enthusiastically dances to the band’s two hit songs and then texts, talks loudly, and gets sloppy-ass drunk for the remainder of the show.

BRAD PITT DORK DANCEThe interpretative dancer who gesticulates in accord with the lyrics.  RAISE THE ROOF

The slutty underage Forever 21-clad girls who skank around the drink line begging guys to buy them beer.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA