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April 2012 Horoscope


Happy Birthday Aries!  Powerful influences from Mars, Mercury and Jupiter manifest positive tangible results for all of your hard work during the first quarter of the year.  The stars clear the way for big money and major recognition.  If you are struggling in the red, get ready for your personal Black Friday, one that may exceed your wildest expectations.  While cash might be flowing, interpersonal relationships suffer strain this month.  Prepare for blame, criticism and harsh words.  Opponents instigate battles with sharp barbs.  Truthfully, most Aries won’t have the kind of self- control required to refuse the bait of these ugly interactions.  You are not well-suited to revenge.  If you attempt to go that route, you’ll end up ruining your reputation and looking really gross.  Sever the antagonistic relationship and don’t dwell.  Ultimately, navigate April with confidence; surround yourself with positivity and those who respect your ample talents.


Taurus contemplates a career change this month, perhaps one you never considered before.  You feel disillusionment with the career choices you’ve made in the past and want to try find a more spiritually satisfying path.  Financial stability is always on the forefront for Taurus, so don’t assume a job change necessarily = a pay cut.  Begin your exploration by gathering with like-minded individuals, and then get your sox rocked when you stumble upon an authentic romantic connection.  Relax with the constant cynicism; others won’t find it so charming misplaced among the optimism of spring.  Put that energy into making yourself and others comfortable.  Stay away from sleeping pills and other downers.


To move forward, Gemini needs to set aside specific time for working goals and thinking quietly alone.  A steady meditation practice will ground you and help alleviate stress.  Avoid self-sabotaging, self-mutilating, and self-critical behavior.  Leave the shit-talking to the gossips – who will be all over you this month with their petty pitchforks.  When an opportunity arises to clear your name – take it.  An increasing level of consciousness begins to subtly shift all your relationships.  Now is the time to live according to your deepest desires.  Pay close attention to how you feed your body.  Curb consumption and waste.  Disregard the skepticism of others; you are absolutely on the right path.


This April life deals you a series of events that requires efficiency, organization, and pragmatism.  Cancers find themselves exhausted this month because of an overload of work and family responsibilities.  Your moody nature gets the best of you.  Superiors and co-workers alike annoy you quite a bit this month.  Bite your tongue; the job market ain’t great.  To combat a short fuse, get enough sleep, take your vitamins and exercise to clear the nervous tension.  Watch what you put in your pie hole.  Fail to heed this advice and face major digestive issues which will create a great deal of embarrassment and inconvenience.  Unresolved conflict from March haunts you in April.  Set boundaries and enforce them.


Leos struggled in March, but April brings brighter days.  Those wallowing in heartbreak will receive encouraging news about a loved one.  Domestically, your relationship coasts along peacefully this spring.  Single Lions keep your eyes peeled for prospects on the 7th and 8th of this month.  All Leos enjoy a hot day on the 10th.  The change in weather inspires you to clean up your messy corners.  Once the space is clean, Leos get inspired to invest in upgraded design features.  This month, embrace optimism, ignore haters, and free yourself from negative self-talk.  Attend yoga religiously.


April is all work, no play, Virgo.  You are well aware of this heap of chores piled in front of you.  There are no short-cuts, you’ll just have to take it one task at a time until you finally get to the bottom and remember the color of your desk.  Prepare to stay late and work weekends to meet deadlines.  Don’t expect a bonus or a raise for all of the extra work, but do consider the effort part of ensuring job security.  Higher-ups won’t forget your selflessness and all this work is going to pay off later in the year as a promotion or wonderful new job.  To relax, enjoy spending time with animals.  Stay strong and patient this April; 2012 will get better and easier.


Libras get super nostalgic this month, believing there was a time when things were better.  Whether they were or weren’t rosier, you can’t relive the past, so enjoy a dip in the memory pond and try not to get too melancholy.  Go through old boxes of toys and photos, watch movies from your childhood, and eat foods your Mom made.  Look up some old friends and book a ticket if you must, just don’t expect everything to feel as you remember it once did.  Our minds have a way of sweetening memories for our own protection.  In keeping with this theme, aesthetically Libras focus on antiques and vintage.  Deal with people in a formal and polite manner. Consider not answering your phone beyond a certain hour of the night.  Use April to make or break your relationship.  Pondering divorce?  File.


Scorpios get serious in April, money moves forefront and now is the time to decide how you will invest in your future.  Once you choose, you will begin to pursue your goals with ruthless ambition.  It’s about time.  Direct power effectively, and continue to learn and study.  To get connected to the appropriate circles, you’ll have to abandon your party of one mentality and attend social events and dinner parties.  The effort will be returned in useful contacts.  Doors will swing open for you and your job opportunities will multiply.  Scorpios regain power this month.  You are sick of all the bitching and moaning and distance yourself from whiners.  Have you finally realized you can and should enjoy yourself?


That luck Sags have come to rely on runs out this April and you are tested by a string of unfortunate events.  For example, if you’ve been slacking at work, it will catch up with you this month.  Expect an audit or performance review.  Get your shit together, and don’t assume you can wing it.  Furthermore, your judgment is particularly skewed by emotions now.  Financial extravagance of months past also comes back to haunt you in April.  Many of you will need to tighten your belt to make it through the month.  Techy Sags find themselves in the midst of an overhaul of antiquated systems.  Frustration is a major player.


Capricorn’s key word is ambition this April.  In your head you fantasize and strategize on how to make millions and rise to the best of your potential.  Methods of self-improvement will be of great interest.  Thank Mars for a little extra stamina this month; put the added boost towards a sweaty workout.  Use your organizational skills to bring important projects into fruition.  Caps love to be the boss, and your team will rely on you to make them look good.  Obtaining meaningful results on this job will reap public recognition or a big financial reward in the near future.


Aquarius suffers a drama-filled personal life in April.  While you aren’t directly the source of the turmoil, some one near and dear will start acting out in a way that is very self-destructive and you’ll make it your business to intercede.  This person constantly criticizes and undermines your self-esteem with negative comments.  Aquarius is relieved to learn the constant shit-talking is the result of an addiction, mental illness, or physical illness.  You will feel less supported by those you’ve come to rely on at work.  Jealousy and gossip sway public opinion.  Confront the murmurs head-on by asking what folks are saying about you.  Even though professionally Aquarians are on the rise, many feel like telling their boss to suck their collective balls this month.  Even though the job market is shit, you’ll be fine if you quit.


Smarty Pisces get so lofty this April that they start to lose their audience.  Simplify the delivery and remain patient.  Don’t force your ideas.  When the time is right people will understand.  Your visionary genius comes in handy in working on an important project all month.  Pisces‘ myopic focus alienates loved ones.  Even though you’re sleepwalking through much of April, carve out some time for your closest people.  Resolve any unpaid debts.  Single Pisces make a platonic connection that ripens into romance in the coming year.  Attached Pisces jump double-dutch trying to keep their mates happy.  Try not to fuck it up.  Gifts are not the answer.