Ten days post-peel, I’m ready to discuss the final verdict on the paint-on glycolic acid procedure. Shall we review the pros and cons?
Peel Pros
non-invasive ♥ little down time ♥ relatively inexpensive ♥ quick ♥ produces measurable results ♥ addresses sun damage ♥ immediate gratification ♥ addictive
Peel Cons
unpredictable — must avoid the sun — triggers breakouts and fever blisters — requires professional application — causes flaking skin — thoughtful timing needed 
I look forward to my next peel and plan to book one in the next few days well in advance of Coachella. Next time I will ask for more intensity on the cheeks, forehead, and jawline and less intensity around the eyes, mouth and on the nose. I will also request my neck and the tops of my hands get a little glycolic love too. One appointment produced noticeable benefits. A second is bound to improve upon the first. I have a hunch that three is the magic number, and it’s only after the third appointment that optimal results are achieved. From there on out, it’s all maintenance.
A few days ago, I shared with you that I indulged in a chemical peel (if one can call a controlled burn an “indulgence”). Upon first application, the glycolic acid tingles and itches a bit. My skin turned pink and then the inflammation more or less subsided within an hour or two. The next day my skin looked great and much improved. The stubborn bitch of a spot flaked away. I couldn’t have been more pleased. 
The third day brought on a challenging set of problems. All over light peeling and flaking left a splotchy and undesirable canvas for makeup. I turned down a highly enticing lunch date because I felt so self-conscious. These awkward, un-phenomenal face moments are the price one must pay to hopefully achieve clearer and more even texture once all that old skin is gone. 
Timing is everything. Remember that while the recovery period isn’t very long for most of these peels, there are a few days that you won’t look your best before the optimal results emerge. 
Yesterday I splurged on a light glycolic peel. My cell turnover really lagged this winter, and I needed a boost with it being the first day of spring and all. I’ve secretly wanted a peel since Brandi Glanville discussed them as part of her skincare regime in her stupid book. I’m ashamed to admit my susceptibility to the power of suggestion.
The results have already begun to emerge. A stubborn hateful patch miraculously flaked away within the first 24 hours. This spot has been testing my patience for months, so achieving meaningful results in the first day sold me on the procedure. I enjoy immediate gratification. I’ll keep you updated on the ongoing outcome over the next week. 
For Valentine’s Day, I fulfilled a fantasy. It’s not what you are thinking pervs. No sticking your dick in the cannoli. 
I went to this Italian bakery I’ve been meaning to try. On the rare occasion I hit up a bakery, I typically restrain myself to one selection. How miserably boring is that?
Just once, I wanted to fill a whole bakery box full of assorted delectable pastries.
So I did just that, and it was fucking fantastic. Once in awhile, go full out and fill the whole box. I’m certainly not suggesting you fill your pie hole with pie everyday, but occasionally, nothing beats a sticky bun. 
I’m still lit up with childlike joy from my mini-splurge. This week take an afternoon delight. Enjoy a baked good or your comfort equivalent. Support a local business, maybe something authentic from the old country. Enjoy the experience wholeheartedly and without remorse. 
Broaden the search by shopping the mens and kids departments for excellent markdowns on sweaters. On the mens rack find plenty of small sizes and on the kids find the leftover XLs. The patterns and proportions can be a fresh alternative to the same old womens offerings. 
Read the signage carefully. Just went jeans shopping and my denim-purchasing companion would have probably bought twice as many pairs had he known at the time of selection that the $159 jeans marked down to $89 would actually ring up at 40% off the lowest marked price. 
Don’t get suckered into buying fresh Resort 2012 right now unless you are actually traveling someplace warm in the next 4 weeks. Now is the time to stock up on deeply discounted coats, winter accessories, and boots for the rest of this season and next. 
I’ve been away all summer under some pretty bleak circumstances, but the joint where I’m staying has a central vacuum system that is the absolute shit. 
I destroy vacuums at an alarming rate. Inexpensive or high-end, none can withstand the abuse of a long-haired neat freak. Within a short time the roller brush becomes completely tangled and immobile. Cutting the accumulation is ineffective, and I speak from personal experience when I warn you that attempting to burn the hair off is also ill-advised. 
Rather than moving a vacuum up and down and all around, central vacuums work through an internal duct system installed throughout the home. All one has to carry is the long hose and the handle attachment. Plug the end into the special central vac outlets installed around the home, and sweep your little ass off. The dust and dirt travel to a canister – usually located in the garage or basement – which gets periodically emptied.
Not going to lie, lugging the tubing around can be a tad laborious, but the suction power of this baby seriously trumps that of traditional sweepers. The simple design and lack of mechanical parts in the attachment system means that there isn’t much that hair can wind around and immobilize. 
I know ya’ll covetous bitches have been staring longingly at Real Housewife of Beverly Hills Kyle Richards‘ mega-mane. A common salon-chair complaint is that women can’t get vibrant, thick, luxurious hair to grow below the bra line. After hair reaches this length it fizzles out into stringy insubstantial wisps. Some think extensions are the answer. Get Britney’s busted weave to cosign on that shit. 
Let’s try another angle. Fekkai Protein Rx PM Repair Strengthener is an overnight conditioning treatment aimed at fortifying hair while you sleep. 
No doubt Rx PM Repair Strengthener is an extravagance at $65 for 4 oz. Justify the price by recognizing that you will easily get another month or more out of your haircut. Furthermore, consider that shampoo and conditioner only stay on the hair for 1-5 minutes. There are limits to what even the most luxurious product can do in this scant time. 
Fekkai’s light-weight cream rebuilds and revitalizes over several hours. Upon waking and washing, hair is left silken, shiny, and weightlessly soft. This is the secret to taking your tresses from mid-length to full-length. 
It’s worth emphasizing that Rx PM Repair does not weigh hair down or leave build-up. It penetrates strands quickly and won’t stain your pillow. The scent is pleasant and unobtrusive. 
Nothing is ever perfect. The cheap dispenser is inconsistent with the quality of the product inside. Upgrade your bottles Fekkai. J’annoyed with the weak-ass pump. Also, sad to say this isn’t vegan. Milk protein is involved.
It takes mayjah results for me to get all aflutter over a conditioner, but I have a diamond-hard wang for Fekkai Protein Rx PM Repair Strengthener. Often the differences between the high end and low end are indiscernible, but in this case the results after one use are not only noticeable, they border on miraculous. 
Need a new tea for your pot? Nothing compares to Aveda Comforting Tea. The complex and full flavor is unparalleled. 
It comes loose and bagged, with loose the better value. It is pricey; $24 for 4.9 ounces, but worth every penny. One hundred percent certified organic peppermint and licorice anchor the blend.
This caffeine-free tea brews deliciously hot or cold. This beverage makes the perfect accompaniment to a luxurious afternoon of gossip with the girls.
The idea of spending $100 on workout pants seemed ludicrous. Then one day it became clear why Lululemon is worth the investment. During yoga, your pants may be revealing more than you realize. Less substantial yoga pants are so transparent that the entire outline of your junk can be seen in certain poses. Straight up Penthouse Pet inner-labia bitches. 
Celeb-preferred and now ubiquitous, Lululemon, the pricey Vancouver-based company, has become the fitness apparel choice for runners, yogis, and gym bunnies. This shit ain’t cheap. Choke the price down. 
The thick, absorbent, wicking, compressing, miraculously flattering proprietary fabric won’t reveal your noni, and will flatter your body before you even work up a sweat. With common sense care, this gear last years. Serious durability means no buyer’s remorse.
Start with one pair of pants and marvel at how good they make your ass look, but please don’t become one of those dumbass bitches so intoxicated with the sight of her own ass that she uses these pants to shamelessly troll for men at the gym.
