Tag Archives: Stephanie Seymour

a word on weddings

As many of you know, I served as a bridesmaid on Friday.  I wore the matching dress – the whole bit.  This wedding was one of the most fun I’ve been to, which in all honesty, was an unexpected surprise.  The whole event got me thinking of the best and worst ceremonies I’ve attended, and what makes some of these events sing while others are off key.  After much nuptial analysis and observation, I humbly offer these considerations when either planning or attending a ceremony.  A chill bride goes a long way in making a wedding day bearable for everyone else.  What makes for a relaxed bride?  An attentive bridal party.  As a bridesmaid your only job is to say “What do you need? What can I get you?  You are the most beautiful.”  The rest of the time anticipate the needs of the bride and her parents.  Remember that attending a wedding as a bridesmaid is a job.  It doesn’t end until the bride pulls away from the reception.  My devotion was so unwavering that I hoisted the bride’s dress up while she peed and lifted her train up all night so it wouldn’t drag in the mud.   I lost a strap on my shoe and improvised with a ribbon and kept it moving.  I doubt anyone really noticed, and I even got a few compliments on my shoes.  Some guests thought it was a creative fashion statement, which really isn’t that farfetched since I’ve been known to wear some pretty fucking random shit on occasion.  Thankfully, I found the strap of my brand new Jeffrey Campbells later that night. Expect at least one bridesmaid, close female friend, or relative to come completely unhinged before or during the big day.  The myriad motivations behind these dramatics vary greatly, but typically include at the very least jealousy, existential crisis, groom hating, Peter Pan Syndrome, and more.  Don’t bother trying to root out the ire.  Just distance yourself from the negativity.  Wait until after the honeymoon to decide if the behavior is a relationship deal-breaker. Friction between the bride’s dad and the groom isn’t exactly uncommon.  Most of that tension can be dealt with early and honestly if the groom nuts up and asks Dad for the bride’s hand.  Some will find this antiquated.  Let me be perfectly clear – the conversation is not some fucked up cow-trading dowry conversation.  The purpose of the chat is to provide the opportunity for any parental concerns to be voiced.  It is also a gesture of respect and goes a long way in garnering good will.  Gays should talk to parents too if feasible under the particular circumstances. Speaking of gays, have some sensitivity to the fact that your best gay friends may be really sick of attending straight weddings when most cannot legally marry themselves.  We’ve discussed buffets here on DC before.  As far as I’m concerned, buffets = barffets.  Consider family style, served plated, or heavy hors d’oeuvres as an alternative.  Don’t you find passed tray hors d’oeuvres kind of  awkward for both server and guest?  Ask yourself when you’ve ever truly been thrilled with a buffet, and then admit that wedding buffets are notoriously bad.  What is it with the limp-ass sauteed vegetable medley?  I love vegetables, but this oft-presented dish is a good reason why they get a bad reputation.  Food must be delicious, appropriately hot or cold, and of a large variety.  Provide fruits, vegetables, cheeses, nuts, and yummy bread, in addition to other options, so those with specific dietary needs can negotiate the meal without a fuss.  Much more to come on weddings and more little doves.  The internet is finally up and running in my new nest, so expect a full posting schedule moving forward.  Thanks again for your kindness and commitment.  Hugs, DC

 

February 2012 Horoscopes

Aquarius

Happy Birthday Aquarius!  Neptune enters the scene this month for Aquarius, leaving you cloudy, burry, and seeing life through a Vaseline-coated lens.  This is not the month for communication, big decisions, or executing plans.  Seek a second opinion from a trusted expert if you must move ahead with major moments in February.  This phase of lapsed judgment will pass as the stars change, so don’t panic.  Stick to habits, routines, and grounding activities.  Your greatest moments of clarity will come from artistic expression, so put energy towards painting, sewing, dancing, or whatever your form of creativity.  The theme of your romantic life this month should be STFU.  Don’t whine and keep your feelings to yourself.  You will save yourself from a mountain full of unnecessary drama, and others will not only notice, but admire your silent suffering.

Pisces

Pisces turn inward this February and regroup with periods of peaceful isolation.  To move forward, Pisces must formulate a plan without distraction.  Money has never been of greater concern, and financial strategy becomes an essential part of charting the course ahead.  Get ultra organized, follow a schedule, and handle your bizness.  As you well know, time is passing quickly.  Do not let it pass you by.  As for love, inhibitions leave you uncommunicative, and you rightly sense a general lack of receptivity to your ideas.  If relations become too strained, take a break.

Aries

The theme for Aries in February is caretaking.  Take care of yourself, family, friends and animals.  Clean the house.  Bake a muffin.  Make others feel loved and important.  Push through daily goals.  Receive acknowledgments, praise, and recognition with tact.  In intimate relations, frustrated desires and obstacles trigger anger resulting in rash behavior and ultimately regret.  Control that fiery temper in the face of unavoidable conflict and confrontation.

Taurus

Taurus splits energy between two areas this February: spirituality and law.  First, the strictures and confines of traditional religion comfort Taurus, and now more than ever you may feel drawn to worship in the traditional sense.  Feel no shame in exploring this path further.  Legal matters take practical precedence.  Document drafting, financial planning, and future predictions mix together to make or break the venture.  Provide authentic and accurate information.

Gemini

Geminis always feel a bit put upon, like no one appreciates their gifts.  Give the constant quest for recognition a rest, and turn your energy towards your financial resources.  Are you allocating them wisely?  Tend to debts and everything you and your partner hold in common.  Speaking of partners, perplexing relationship issues seem clear to you now.  Geminis begin to understand their part and the part their honeys play in relationship breakdowns.  Patience, compassion, and kindness smooth rough patches.

Cancer

February continues a theme of balance and stability which extends throughout 2012.  To really feel heard, you need to share your troubles with those around you.  The wise advice of your confidants proves especially helpful and soothing.  Listen to your intuition and avoid involvements that feel uncomfortable.  This time you’ll get a second bite at the apple.  When on a pessimistic jag, Cancers can get a little me-against-the-world.  Don’t give into that self-pitying tendency.  Indulge it, and you’ll end up feeling overwhelmed and pressured.

Leo

Leos must balance practicality against romanticism and provide a generous allotment of time for both.  Professionally, get organized and maximize your contribution by remaining orderly and efficient.  Make deliberate and mindful decisions.  This is not the month to play therapist with troubled co-workers.  At most, help colleagues with new methods.  Play with puppies, ride horses, and walk the dog.  Now is the time for the joy of animals.  Leos fan the flames of romance this Valentine’s Day, and your effort is noticed and appreciated by the recipient of all your good woo.  Leos relax competitiveness, work to please and create harmony.  Someone will try and seduce you; only you can decide if you want to fuck.

Virgo

Spend energy showing others how much you care this February Virgo.  Repair any frayed relationship edges.  Put your own concerns aside and offer others sustenance and praise. You will receive great blessings for your generosity.  Unfortunately this February won’t be particularly romantic.  Discord plagues personal relationships.  Finding meaningful emotional connections proves challenging this month.  This fleeting phase will pass, so don’t overreact.  Closeness resumes between you and your partner as the stars change.  Allow this energy to pass without forcing any issues and all will return to normal soon.

Libra

Libras need to tie up loose ends in February.  Envision the end result and then consider how to methodically implement order and complete the unfinished.  Picturing goals accomplished conjures magic that will help Libras spin action into manifestation.  Remain patient.  Use talents for the benefit of others.  You will shine brightest when you share your resources.  Appreciation and positivity follows.  A beneficial opportunity may arise from an opportunity or contact.

Scorpio

Scorpios look to find their highest purpose and means of serving this year.  You must communicate values, ideals, and beliefs to shape your destiny.  Chat with neighbors, reach out to family, and keep the lines of communication open.  Honor responsibilities and commitments.  So few folks are reliable; take pride in your dependability.  Now more than ever, Scorpios crave love, affection, beauty and pleasure.  Impulse control might be a problem for Scorpios who haven’t learned to manage their baser instincts.  Lingering unhappiness in a close relationship surfaces now.  Discuss your concerns, make an effort and see what happens.  Short trips provide beneficial insights.

Sagittarius

Ambition surges through Sags in February.  This is a time to define and determine your values.  Give thoughtfully.  Surprise your loved ones with unexpected tokens of affection. These small gestures create indelible memories for the recipients.  Sags reap rewards when they let go of expectation.  Extra charming, your flirting boosts the confidence of those around you.  Those in your circle perceive you as loving, affectionate, and aware of their needs and feelings.  Because of your strong relationships, others are willing to help and cooperate with your trajectory.

Capricorn

Capricorns focus on health and creating a lifestyle which supports wellness.  With this new regimen of self-care, you will take on a new glow and even the Sun will shine a little brighter. Capricorns spin self-esteem out of accomplishment.  The New Moon brings old conflicts.  The easiest solution is to flee the scene.  Strange, cryptic, or unsettling moments are actually disguised compliments.  Unexpected friendly messages arrive from unlikely sources.  While you may not understand, listen.  Use honesty and share.  Avoid assumptions.

Sunday with Matrimony

SEPTEMBER 2010 HOROSCOPE

VIRGO

Practice self-preservation.

LIBRA

Pick a side.

SCORPIO

Prepare to ramp it up.

SAGITTARIUSLet it be easy breezy.

CAPRICORN

The frivolity of summer is over.

AQUARIUS

Go out of your way to be friendly.

PISCES

You are a valued friend.

ARIES

One word: edit.

TAURUS

Don’t confuse selfishness for martyrdom.

GEMINI

Make a list.

CANCER

Clean and organize.

LEO

Moodiness makes you seem self-important.