Tag Archives: Tami Roman

Tami had a Heart Attack?!

Earlier this week Tami Roman had a heart attack.  The press described it as “mild,” which means it didn’t kill her.  She’s currently recuperating.  Tami is 41.  Feel better mama.  We need you.  We’ve loved you since The Real World.  No más drinking and no más smoking.  Try yoga instead of lipo.  

Child Please, This is only the beginning…

Evelyn revealed a long-kept secret on last week’s Basketball Wives finale.  Perhaps angling for some extra camera time this season, Evelyn confessed to smashing Tami’s husband, Kenny Anderson, back in the day.  Tami took it as well as you might imagine. Several years after Lozada and Anderson’s affair, the tables have turned.  Now Evelyn’s engaged to marry rumored pussy-hound Chad Ochocinco.The Roman Candle proved payback’s a bitch when she dropped this delish doozy on part one of the reunion…

“So then I don’t need to tell you I fucked Chad.” And then Evelyn’s face looked like this. And then Royce broke out dancing.  In the immortal words of Mr. Ochocinco himself,Child Please, This is only the beginning.

Top Five Relationship Lessons as Taught to us by Reality Television

5)      Cheating ruins a relationship forever.  For a timely example, see Sammi and Ron from Jersey Shore.  If you discover your significant other has a jump off, cut and run.  Under no circumstances should you decimate your pride by going back for even one sesh of break-up sex.  Don’t fucking tell me you love him, weak-ass bitch.4)      The following advice applies to all relationships.  Look at what people do, not what they sayTori Spelling failed to apply this rule.  Dean talked a lot of love-at-first-sight woo to lure Tori.  However, many believe his decision to leave his wife, son, and newly adopted daughter to opportunistically seize fame and exploit a dim-witted heiress of dwindling celebrity better reflects his true character.  Now she’s surprised about relationship problems?  Actions determine character.  See also, Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian, and any of the hot-ass messes from Teen Mom.3)      Please don’t EVER film your fucky times.  See Kim Kardashian, Kendra Wilkinson, Danielle Staub, and the OG of the celeb sex tape, Paris Hilton.  While some consider this a catapult to notoriety, unless you are fucking someone noteworthy, you’ll only be famous to his friends for your “technique.”2)      Protect precious possessions from the vengefulJWOWW and Tom, Ron and Sam, The Bad Girls Club – all these kids got their belongings trashed.  Don’t be naïve.  Lock your shit down before you start a war, and if you pick a fight, be prepared to finish it.1)      Marinating bad feelings in liquor intensifies rather than alleviates tension.  See Bethenny, Ramona, Snooki, Austin Armacost, and Tami Roman from Basketball Wives for shameful examples of messy drinkers.  Slurring, stumbling, puking, instigating bar fights, removing heels, hooking up with questionable fugsters, and showing your ass in public are all fucking dignity issues.  Remember, there is nothing more repulsive than a sloppy-ass drunk.

Smooches to all of you this Valentine’s DayMuah.

Roman’s Revenge

Shaunie O’Neal has gifted us all with a little gem this Christmas in the form of the return of Tami Roman as the newest cast member of Basketball Wives.  Some folks may remember Tami’s spicy blend from the original Real World L.A., which aired waaay back in 1993 (before some ya’ll bitches was even born).  Tami famously demonstrated the double negative bitch bounce, “it wasn’t not funny,” before joining pitchforks with Beth and permanently running David out the house.  Observant ones know that this incident wasn’t the first or last time a black man has felt the sharp end of MTV‘s bigot stick.Since her days on MTV, Tami married and divorced Kenny AndersonTami and Kenny have two teenage daughters who Tami claims she’s raising (financially) alone.  Her fishy pre-nup story doesn’t jive with legal precedent, so there’s probably a whole lot more to that story then she’s admitting.  Kenny is currently remarried to an older version of Sagen from Running Russell Simmons and playing stay-at-home daddy to a new batch of kids.Tami brings a down-and-out element to the otherwise boughetto (credit Kandi Burruss via Ali & Murphey Lee) ensemble cast.  Already Evelyn and Jennifer got their noses in the air cracking on Roman’s food-stamp past.  Expect Tami’s ladylike self-restraint to maintain for about two more episodes, max.  Theme your Sunday morning brunches around a wig snatch ya’ll.