What the fuck is the deal with the decorative towels? Can someone explain this fug phenom to me please?Daily readers know, last weekend I went to the Telluride Yoga Festival. Saw Ralph Lauren’s ranch while I was there. Major. Telluride is major in many ways, but that’s a story for another day. And I do have a story about puffing on the gondola and then having a pushy Texan wedding party come crashing into our little hot box. But today we are talking towels; specifically, decorative towels and what purpose, (if any) they serve.I stayed at a friend’s in-laws. Possibly awkward to begin with right? Well we rolled up to their 2 year old mountain home and our host showed me to my quarters – a single fold-out cot set up in the office. No problem, I’m not a snob. Some curtains or blinds on the windows would be nice for privacy, but the sleeping accommodations were adequate, and let’s face it the price (free) was right.
The hostess provided a diminutive hot pink polyester bath towel. One small towel for 3 nights. No washcloth. No hand towel. Then I’m shown to the bathroom and I see at least a dozen decorative towel sets layered on three different rods. A large bath towel, a hand towel, and a washcloth were stacked 2 to a bar all around. Since the host pointedly provided me a different sad little towel, I assumed these towels weren’t for actual use. So what’s the fucking point of having towels that no one ever uses? Ask me if the bathroom in this million+ dollar home was clean. No it wasn’t. In fact in the two years it has existed I wonder if it has ever been properly cleaned. Nasty. I’m not asking for much, but clean the goddamn bathroom for crying out loud. I’d rather be poor and tidy than rich and filthy. Is that why they call it filthy rich? If you are one of those matchy-matchy mutherfuckers, I ask you to reconsider the useless decorative towels. Towels are meant for absorbing water off the body, not for gazing at reverentially as if they are priceless art. It’s a fucking towel. If you host a guest for three days provide the following at minimum: 2 large bath towels or bath sheets, 2 hand towels, and 1 or 2 washcloths. They should preferably be white, soft, clean, and fluffy cotton.