As far-flung relatives fling themselves back to wherever they came from, the horror stories of bad manners, ungrateful behavior, and petty criticisms have begun to trickle in from weary hosts. 
Since apparently many of us are totally lacking in self-awareness, here are a few examples of how we drive our thankless hosts to the brink. 
Even though curious and tempted, don’t snoop. Most obviously, it is rude and invasive. When you go where you aren’t supposed to, you may not like what you find. 
Even though I’m a big proponent of honesty, guests should compliment and not criticize. Not feeling flush with praise? Then just shut the fuck up. Don’t feel the need to fill the silence with negative picky noise. 
Arrive and depart in a timely fashion. When a person prepares an elaborate sit down meal, timing matters. Your tardiness fucks up the delicate order. On the flip side, hosts please plan your meal with room to spare. Nobody really enjoys waiting four hours to eat. A substantial wait guarantees that guests will get hungry, cranky and bitchy. 
Is it me, or did the Black Friday propaganda machine work overtime this year? The more hysterical and bombastic the marketing campaigns became, the more I dug into my commitment to buy absolutely nothing on the national day of accumulation. 
Here are a few more productive ways to spend your day then beating a bitch over a HDTV at Best Buy. 
Since you ate 3 days worth of food in one sitting yesterday, why don’t you move your ass? Hike, bike, skip, or strut in the opposite direction of the mall. Show visiting guests your neighborhood by foot. Walk the dog. Collect firewood. Rollerskate. 
Catch up on new music as you clean your house. Stow the remnants of fall and prepare for winter. Declutter and donate. Rotate the wardrobe.
Marathon a show you’ve been meaning to watch. Homeland. American Horror Story. Downton Abbey. Or my personal favorite as of late, Made in Chelsea. Many of you work hard and actually deserve several hours of lazying about without judgment. 
Enjoy a day making homemade gifts for the holidays as a healthy “fuck you” to consumerism. Rather than spending, can you repurpose and improve shit into something you want to keep or give? 
Last week I went to Costco on a Sunday. As I entered the store, I heard this woman in her late sixties muttering complaints ferociously under breath. It was too crowded. There were no carts. She was bitching to herself out loud. I wanted to turn to her and say, bitch it is Sunday at the Costco, what did you expect?
One of my shopping companions always starts an irrational rant before we even enter the threshold of the store. How long is this going to take? Do you have a list? Can we be out of here in 20 minutes? After vigorously wiping the cart down with an anti-bacterial wipe, he death grips the cart handle and aggressively plunges forward. Elderly, children, and pregnant women be damned.
If a trip to the store is on your to do list this week, please save yourself the frustration and accept a few realities. First, it will be crowded. Second, certain popular items may not be in stock. Third, it will be the most exhausting and unpleasant experience. Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s are virtually unnavigable on a good day; rolling into a holiday weekend it’s beyond bananas. Surviving the parking lot is an achievement. 
If crowds conjure anxiety, go at an off-peak time – like an hour before closing. Eat before so you don’t get stuck in the free sample gridlock. Have patience. Be Kind. Say excuse me. Leave plenty of time. Don’t ram the elderly. An enterprising SuperTarget employee will upload the security camera footage on YouTube, and then you’ll be the asshole that assaulted grandma. It’s a cruel world. Happy Holidays.
Some of you actually look forward to that can-shaped glob? This year, go fresh with the 
Raw 
What they say about 
This episode of Bethenny Ever After started in Dr. Amador’s office and flashed back through the previous week of escalating crazy. Bravo should have structured the entire season this way and re-titled it Narcissist in the City. Rumors circulate about Bethenny exercising EP power to have portions of the episodes re-edited so she appears more likable. If that’s true, you have to wonder what this episode looked like before it was softened. So without further ado, let us commence the countdown to BFrank’s big breakdown.
First up, Gina informed Bethenny that she was having surgery at the end of the week, and therefore their time must come to an end. Through tears, the two tried to envision a future apart. After claiming G as family, Bethenny seemed mostly concerned about a replacement nanny and how this crisis might inconvenience her skating schedule. Bethenny didn’t offer support, financial or otherwise, to Gina at any point in the conversation. This is how rich people treat their 
The whole family arrived in L.A. for Bethenny’s debut performance on Skating with the Stars. Jason and Bethenny drove around Beverly Hills and contemplated which area of L.A. might suit them best for a future move. The two stopped at an empty house for sale and jumped the fence. Feeling ultra-rebellious at first, they soon started to panic. Getting back over the fence proved even less graceful, and Jason complained of a thumb injury while hoisting B up and over in her thigh-high boots – the worst footwear possible for a stealth breaking and entering.
Bethenny performed beautifully for her first-ever televised skating routine. Was she stiff and stifled? A little, but as a premiere showing, she did better than the 5s she received from the judges. Out the gate, she failed to evoke any good will from the panel. Before the judges comments, the public criticism aspect of the competition obviously hadn’t dawned on Bethenny. Getting picked apart like that ain’t easy. When the feedback wasn’t all roses and sunshine, her spirit palpably plummeted.
Back in NYC, Chef Bethenny prepped for Bryn’s first Thanksgiving. Due to technical difficulties, the turkey wasn’t cooked through and Bethenny started snapping at everyone’s attempts to console her. Julie, Jason, the Grandparents Hoppy, and even the ancillary ghub got the sharp end of her Scorpio stinger. When she finished screaming at her guests, Bethenny stormed off to her bedroom to 
Back to the therapist couch, Dr. Amador asked Bethenny what Thanksgiving was like for her growing up. Bethenny said her Mom (Bernadette serving a little Priscilla Presley below) was a really good cook, but a perfectionist. If for any reason things weren’t perfect, according to Bethenny her Mom would flip out.
The phrase “walking on eggshells” popped up several times in this episode, and it dawned on Bethenny that she recreated the very scenario she resented growing up.
“I end up sucking a lot of energy out of the room, and when I’m not happy it ends up being quite contagious.”
The paradigm-shifting epiphany sent Bethenny into an existential tailspin where she recognized how she mirrored Bernadette in so many ways. And like so many others before her, Bethenny was horrified at the realization that she too had become her mother.
Think how distressed she’ll be when she realizes in about 30 years Bryn will be having the exact same nauseating moment of self-awareness.
Between the drinking, pre-meal snacking, dinner, and dessert, on average each American consumes between 3,000 – 4,500 calories on Thanksgiving. To put it in perspective, there are 3,500 calories in a pound. Can America really afford to gain another collective pound? 
Sex + Orgasm = approximately 200 calories burned, depending on ferocity.
Watching 1 hour of bad reality TV requires approximately 60 calories.
1 hour of power vinyasa yoga melts 500 calories.
