Tag Archives: The Real Houswives of Beverly Hills

The Housewives are so Over

We’ve known all along that The Real Housewives of Wherever celebrates materialistic, shallow, catty, back-biting bitches.  How come watching that shit isn’t fun anymore?  A few theories…What was already artificial is now completely fake.  I have this theory about reality shows.  The first season delivers the most authentic version of a person.  When folks see themselves on TV, they change.  Who can blame them?  Yet rarely do those changes result in improvement.  See Kathy Wakile’s grotesque plastic surgery makeover as a recent example.  These women aren’t friends.  Very few, if any of the ladies, would spend time with each other if they weren’t paid per episode.  Close relationships, even among family, virtually never survive filming.  Fame, ego, and greed quickly replace love, trust, and loyalty.  The contrived drama cooked up by producers has become increasingly nonsensical.  Rather than trust the subtlety of female intrigue to unfold, Bravo impatiently forces it.  It smacks of effort and it’s boring.Two franchises are wrapping up (NYC & Miami) and two more (BH &ATL) are fixing to get underway.  Who else is tired of the constant rotation and inundation of haughty useless women?  I’m not being sanctimonious, I love a bitch fight as much as the next living and breathing person, but the desperate story lines and bad acting on reality have sent me running back into the arms of well-written scripted television.


Bethenny Ever After: $120 Million Dollar Baby?

Bethenny and Jason needed a new nanny since Gina left to convalesce after her surgery.  Their top choice is a woman named Dawa.  Born in India and of Tibetan descent, Dawa must be genetically calm or some such racist shit according to her new employers.After butchering her four letter name repeatedly, Bethenny and Jason gave Dawa the grand tour of the nursery and pantry.  Bethenny in particular put on a high-drama neurotic show for the cameras.  No wonder ratings are way down this season.  Truthfully, this mundane shit is dreadfully dull.Dawa informed Bethenny that she doubles as a hair dresser, so Bethenny got a blowout from the new two-for nanny.  Not sure how long ago Dawa werked weaves in India but her technique and finish on the blowout left much room for improvement.  Stick to burping babes Dawa.Over dinner, Jason told Bethenny that sales of Skinnygirl expanded from 13 states to 40.  She contemplated the future sale of Skinnygirl and revealed that several companies that had previously turned her down were now begging to buy her out.  No doubt a satisfying moment for Bethenny, but it is disappointing to think the same people that doubted her are now financially profiting from her idea.Speaking of sell outs, a few episodes back we discussed the sale of Skinnygirl to Beam, and at the time the sale price was undisclosed.  Recently, several outlets from the Wall Street Journal to Wendy Williams reported Bethenny sold Skinnygirl for $120 million.  Does that officially make her the richest Housewife?  (Bitch please, spin-off or not she’ll always be a Housewife.)  The timing of the sale makes sense because Bethenny officially peaked awhile ago, even if she continues to fight against her inevitable decline.Despite her public bitch fight with Johnny Weir (Team Johnny!), Bethenny made it all the way to The Skating with the Stars finale show by riding a wave of drunken Skinnygirl fan support.  To properly prepare, Bethenny rented a beachfront house in Malibu and invited Ethan over for a Mexican fiesta and tabletop dance.Bethenny keeps hinting that a move to California is around the corner.  Can we look forward to a new cast member on The Real Housewives of Beverly HillsBethenny and Kyle go way back, so the notion isn’t that far afield.  Plant the seed ya’ll.