Pregnancy speculation themed this week’s Tori & Dean yet again. Since this child was born months ago, do we really care?May I comment on the fact that Stella is like the most delightful child ever? I have yet to see her throw a tantrum, and I’ve been watching closely. Even Liam is less of an asshole this season. That Adderall-laced breakfast cereal must be working. The last press-heavy event scheduled to take place during Tori’s first trimester was the GLAAD Awards. This bitch obviously has no fucking idea of how to disguise a pregnancy with intelligent fashion choices. Tori thought it appropriate to wear a shiny black tent attached to a Wilma Flintstone-style set of oversized gold pearls. The dress draped over her bump and the shiny fabric betrayed her secret. Who needs a confirmation? This fug dress is the confirmation. Oh, and she took the chicken. It was Dean’s turn to spin the career wheel this week and his arrow landed on “culinary student.” Because every opportunist actor needs a back up plan, Dean decided to enroll in a culinary arts program to secure his future as a sous chef.
He fucked up his first frittata.
After getting the clear from her long-suffering OBGYN, Tori decided to scoop the gossip weeklies and announce the pregnancy on her own Twitter feed. Then she thoroughly enjoyed taking a fame bath in her self-drawn trending-topic tub.Naturally, Kathie Lee was butt-hurt over Tori denying the pregnancy to her face on the 4th hour, but a bouquet of flowers and a cheeky note seemed to smooth things over.