Tag Archives: Tina Fey

2012 Oscars Style Review: The Best, The Worst, The Most, The Toast

The Best: Emma Stone in Giambattista Valli

This gorgeous gown fit her body perfectly, accentuated her tiny waist, and stood out in a sea of mediocrity.  Don’t love the accessories, but I’m not in the mood to quibble.

You Saw It Here First: Shailene Woodley in Valentino Couture

Fresh from the couture collections, Shailene Woodley wore this modern, white, long-sleeved number.  It might look familiar since we featured it as part of the best of Fall 2012 Couture earlier this month.  It’s a little old for her, and her face would benefit from a pop of color, but not a flop by any means.

Most Confusing: Viola Davis in Vera Wang

This looks like the homicide of Puff the Magic Dragon.  A full-on unmitigated lapse in aesthetic judgment.

Fulfilled Potential: Tina Fey in Carolina Herrera

We’ve all been waiting for Tina Fey to step out looking this good.  Finally, she’s really come into her own in this navy peplum-detailed gown.

Evoking a Cult Leader: Gwyneth Paltrow in Tom Ford

I’m not saying I don’t like this, but she’s delivering a whole lot of white here.  Can’t you picture her standing at a podium condescendingly addressing an arena full of Goopies in this odd get-up?   “Follow me, affluent women, to the land of organic peas…”

Most Offensive Overtry: Jennifer Lopez in Zuhair Murad

Nude illusion Fruit Stripe Gum.

Culmination of a Bad Fashion Awards Season Run: Jessica Chastain

Fashion-wise, Chastain hasn’t found her identity.  Her style choices were as varied and uneven as her performances this year.  It looks like she skinned Kimora Lee’s sofa.  Let this be a lesson – McQueen is not for everyone.

Let Me Upgrade You: Clooney in Armani, Keibler in Marchesa

Clooney’s clout ensures his girls-of-the-moment have access to all the best fashion houses and some very high-end clothes, but even in all their borrowed sartorial finery, his dates still look like they should be holding cards above their heads in the middle of a wrestling ring.

Most Predictable: Pitt in Tom Ford and Jolie in Versace Atelier

I’m so bored with these two.  Oh, how fucking shocking you two bitches showed up in black.  Close your legs dear, you’re not dancing the can-can.  Ever since I heard that thing she said to him at the Globes, I’ve kinda hated them.  She turned to him and said “you’re prettier than me.”  Fucking voms yo.

The Bridesmaids: Kristin Wiig in J. Mendel

While the bodice of this dress is tailored beautifully for her body, the placement of the break into the texture is awkward and unflattering.

Melissa McCarthy in Marina Rinaldi

Are we calling this mauve?  I’m pretty sure we issued a fatwa on mauve at the end of the 80′s.

Maya Rudolph in Johanna Johnson

Here’s one of the few purple looks of the night.  It’s a safe, conservative, and unoffensive choice.  The side-swept hair is very Mariah.

Building Relationships Pays Off: Octavia Spencer in Tadashi Shoji

After favorable reviews from fashion folk for her Globes look, Octavia went back to Tadashi Shoji for her Oscar gown.  Clearly, cultivating that relationship has paid off; the designer knows her body and the fit is beautiful.  Second best of the night.

Dress I wanna like, but Don’t: Cameron Diaz in Gucci

I really want to like this Gucci gown, but I don’t.  She needs a waist and this dress gives her no shape through the torso.  It reminds me of a melting chocolate and vanilla soft-serve twist cone.

Consistently Wasted Potential: Michelle Williams in Louis Vuitton

This dress is too fussy, ill-fitting, and heavy for such a delicate wisp of a girl.  This ensemble ain’t right – the necklace, the bag (and I get where they are going with the clash, but here, no), and that gawd awful frump of a saloon-girl-gone-wrong disaster of a frock.

Sure to be Critically EvisceratedRooney Mara in Givenchy

No one will get this.  Even if they did, the cut isn’t flattering to her body.  If you do avant-garde, you have to do it impeccably.

Post-baby Blah: Natalie Portman in vintage Dior

She gave birth to a new era of shitty style.

Two A-List Underwhelmers: Sandra Bullock in Marchesa and Penelope Cruz in Giorgio Armani.

Sandra’s dress isn’t doing her body any favors.  Is a gold shrub trying to munch her bush?  WTF?  Pene, you are almost forty, enough with the princess shit.  Join us in 2012.

17th Annual SAG Fashion: the pretty and the shitty

Best dressed goes to Julie Bowen for her flattering and original Catherine Malandrino jumpsuit.  Julie gets the prize because this may be the best she’s ever looked.  Hitting her fashion stride, the choice highlighted her toned arms and tiny waist.  Christina Hendricks also deserves compliments for reining in her (allegedly enhanced) rack in this elegant long-sleeved L’wren Scott gown.  Modern and slimming, a much-improved showing for our Joanie. Yeah, yeah, Mila looked great in Alexander McQueen.  Finally, she picked a gown that does her justice.  She’ll be the obvious contender for “best dressed” among the mainstream critics.  It wouldn’t be a proper awards show without a Demeter Clarc selection making the cut.  This time Julia Stiles worked this Monique L’huillier ombre from the Pre-Fall 2011 collection.  Don’t love the uninspired hair, but she gives good gown. A trio of cap-sleeved gowns appeared on January Jones, Jenna Fischer, and Nicole KidmanJayma Mayes and Jennifer Lawrence worked detailed variations of the theme.  None were particularly spectacular. On the fug continuum, Jayma sits on the least offensive end and Jenna on the way, way, way other side.  Heather Morris, Kyra Sedgwick, and Sarah Hyland served sexy strapless.  Tina Fey, Winona Ryder, Claire Danes, Dianna Agron, Julianna Margulies, and Natalie Portman sucked all the seduction out of the silhouette.  Angie Harmon suffered from a serious case of overcompensation.  I’m so mad at WinonaThe one-shoulder women, tasteful Hilary Swank wearing Versace, and budget Kim Kardashian in Marchesa. While originality is always appreciated, the most interesting part of Eva Longoria’s Georges Hobeika gown was estimating how much titty tape went into tacking that strap down.  Sophia Vergara joked that she makes everything look like Cavalli.  Unfortunately, that means she makes Cavalli look like JovaniLea Michele came with a whole different take on the deep-V in Oscar de la Renta.  Overall, it was a very de la Renta-heavy evening.

Who delivered at the 2010 Met Costume Institute Gala?

Anne Hathaway in Valentino, one of the best of the night.

Blake wasted her banging body in this Versace mistake.

I’m not mad at Gwen for this.

January, no, oh no…..

Mila, kinda drowning, but not bad.

Biel puts the ralph in Ralph Lauren.Why Gisele, why?Bad fit in YSL.

Diane von Furstenberg does Kristin Bell right.

Padma proves shiny fabric is no woman’s friend on the red carpet.

JLO’s done this look before, but it is done well here.