Tori enjoyed a charity-laced baby shower with her Mom and friends at the table. Candy correctly predicted the sex of the baby. She seemed genuinely happy to be part of the pregnancy this time around. Count this as one of the very, very, very few genuine moments in a season filled with orchestrated hour-long shill fests.We are supposed to believe that an extra-pregnant Tori set up an elaborate mother-daughter tea party complete with hanging tree decorations, a well-appointed table, and pink frosted cupcakes. The production assistants on this show must be some of the most thankless and exhausted.Stella was an adorable hostess and fully redeemed herself from any unsavory behavior in the past weeks. The PAs were extra tired setting up the tea party because they spent all night crafting this paper mache volcano for Liam to destroy in thirty seconds while playing scientist with baking soda and vinegar. Mommy-son time was slightly less touching than the mother-daughter moment, but Liam promised, in his own way, to stop being such an asshole. Tori and Dean reportedly paid $2.4 million for a little over 2,000 square feet on 1.75 acres of mega-valuable Malibu land. It is rumored they sold their Encino home featured on the show for $2.5 million, a $450,000 loss from the $2.9 million they reportedly paid in oh-eight. Think the lingering stench of goat shit had anything to do with the hit they took?Liam was not thrilled with the drastic cut in square footage and protested at the idea of sharing a room with Stella. I don’t blame him. He’s what, 2 to 3 years from getting into some serious self-wang touching? Let the kid have some privacy, jeesh. Dean wasn’t having any of Liam’s stank attitude even though Tori had second thoughts about the kids’ proposed sleeping arrangement. Stella declared she’s born to be nice. Liam was born to be…
Let’s just agree to shelve kids.
Tori couldn’t even take time off from career-waffling to give birth. This week she designed her own superfug asymmetrical birthing gown with snap-away shoulder.
This is like a horror movie. I can’t. Let’s just move on.
Mom and baby meet for the first time cheek to cheek.
Mehran is thrilled about the fashion possibilities a girl brings. Why are they so rough with the babies? Chill. It is a newborn not a salt scrub.
The big finale involved a lot of glossing over of major events. We saw none of the house buying-selling negotiations. Why did Tori’s two girlfriends rep her on the sale of her home, but a different agent repped her on the Malibu purchase? Did things get messy with the girls? Also, we weren’t privy to much marriage drama this season, but I don’t think it was for lack of conflict. Dean’s story arc began and ended with the kitchen. What’s really going on here? I smell something funny and it ain’t Dean’s frittatas. This white-washed version of reality felt like a bunch of staged moments spliced together to create the impression of a perfect life for a perfect sales pitch. Are we buying?