Here’s what I would want to know….1) How did you get tickets? It was pretty easy. I just went online and requested a date. I got it. You don’t find out very far in advance – maybe two weeks, so if travel is involved understand it may be a last minute thing.2) Was the Bethenny show well-organized? Bethenny always says that business is all about the execution, so I was curious if her talk show would run like a well-0iled machine. With regard to ticket reservations, I found the process easy and organized. The day of the show we lined up in front outside at 8 am. I would not recommend requesting tickets in the dead of winter for this reason. Semi-enthusiastic (but definitely nice) PA’s wandered up and down the line confirming reservations and trying desperately to get folks to participate in the filming in some capacity. We waited approximately thirty minutes or maybe longer before getting shuffled through a basic security screening. In the hallway, was this lady… From there we were put in a holding room, signed waivers, watched a looped Bethenny production video, and met our fluffer. The fluffer is the stand-up comedienne who must rally the crowd into a frenzy for Mizz Frankel. An intense bathroom line formed. Walkie-talkies were used to communicate the comings and goings of bathroom users. After another hour or so in the holding pen, we were lined up by number and seated in the studio. 3) What was the studio like? Like a Pottery Barn Teen catalog. 4) Were the security guards hot? Yes. 5) Tell me more about this fluffer?The fluffer was a cute female comic who’s name I totally forget – sorry. She led a dance party. Audience members got up and danced. Some were good. Most were not. The best turns were those that involved humping various staff members. T-shirts were given out. Gaga was played. We clapped. We cheered. We gave good enthusiasm. Then it just drug on a little long because Bethenny was late and all of our collective excitement began to wane. 6) Anything interesting to steal? Yes. Thank you for asking. I did steal something. Before the show started, one page typed sheets of paper were dispersed among the audience. This is a cut and paste from a PageSix story that ran that morning. Bethenny claimed that 85% of the audience didn’t believe it was true. BULLSHIT on that poll. Who is going to tell her staff – “yeah, it’s all true.” We all know that the contents of these stories are never entirely true or entirely false. 7) How did the show kick-off? Bethenny began with a pre-taped backstage moment where she reflects on the story mentioned above reading it line by line out loud saying “TRUE” or “FALSE” after each sentence. 8) What was your first impression of Bethenny? When she finally bounced out I was relieved she didn’t spend the first minute awkwardly dancing and lip-synching to her own theme music. She launched into her opening monologue. I read the monitor. It said, “take down phase.” Bethenny views herself as some sort of pariah. Everybody’s after her, dontcha know? 9)Was Bethenny skinny? Yes, alarmingly so! Her legs are pretty much the same circumference from her calves to her mid-thigh. Her arms are super thin and the skin is saggy. Her tits are waaay too big for her frame.
10) What did she wear? She wore a very short, flared, animal-print skirt in keeping with that tulip silhouette she favors, very high YSL knock-off heels and a black sweater that was a little too big. When sitting, her skirt bordered on too short.11) Was she pretty in person? Yes, Bethenny is striking in person. Her bone structure is quite dominant. She has a lovely complexion. She had fake hair in, but her own hair looked good too. Her face could benefit from five extra pounds on her frame. 12) Who were the guests? The Lylas – Bruno Mars’ sisters in a girl group. They have a new show on WE that I won’t be watching. Food Network Star Big Daddy made pork chops in a food segment. Finally, Char Margolis served up weird and uncomfortable psychic readings in the final two segments. 13) What was the theme of the show? Mending relationships. 14) Bruno Mars‘ sisters? Yeah. Bruno Mars‘ sisters. One of these women has a 14 year old child! Bethenny led them through a shallow, empty interview before turning on the audience for some cooked up “sister questions.” 15) Were the cameras on you? Yes. Sometimes they would come veryclose. I felt my face twitching. I tried to sit up straight. 16) What was your impression of Bethenny? After ample reflection, it boils down to this: we met Bethenny on a reality show where she was a sarcastic, cynical, snarky bitch, and many of us loved her for it. On the talk show, she’s serving us Katie-fucking-Couric and it’s totally disingenuous. She is clearly not in a good place in her life. She’s depleted. Watching her trying to fake fun made me tired. This talk show is not the right format or tone to display Bethenny’s talents. 17) Could Big Daddy cook? Big Daddy was super personable and it is easy to see why he won Next Food Network Star. That said, the cooking segment was a bit of a shit show on her part and extra takes had to be completed for editing. She chewed that one bite of pork chop for 2 minutes straight, as she kept saying how delicious it was. It must have been tough as shoe leather.
18) So what about the psychic Char Margolis? I have mixed feelings on Char Margolis. In the lineup outside, staffers solicited people who wanted to communicate with a departed loved-one. That seems a little staged, no? When she read Bethenny, Char used B for Bobby – which everybody knows is Bethenny’s father. She also used the cliche “when you fall off the horse get back on” – it’s commonly known Bobby was in the horse business. Char did come out the pocket with dead aunt Rose for a “confirmation,” so maybe there’s some merit to what she does. My friend Lisa was very offended at Char’s handling of the in-vitro girl and I’m inclined to agree that the psychic was insensitive during the reading. 19) Any behind the scenes gossip?Bethenny fucked up alot and was hard on herself when she did make a mistake. She looked sad, tired, and off. She seemed genuinely rattled by her father’s presence. We weren’t allowed to take pictures when Bethenny was in there. These last few I took stealthy-style as she was on her way out (that’s why she is small and blurry). My friend Wendy mentioned she was disappointed Bethenny didn’t stick around to sign books or grease any of her fans’ palms. 20) Would you recommend the Bethenny experience? I doubt very seriously that this rather amateurish production would get extended a second chance. The beaten down staff acted like they were counting their days. Go if you are curious about Bethenny and have four hours to kill in NYC. If you have aspirations to be on TV, it wouldn’t be hard at all to get some face time on this show. Trust me when I tell you they are obviously desperate to fill time.