Tag Archives: Tyra Banks

The Face

Please tell me you are watching the fucking splendor that is The FaceThe Face is Naomi Campbell’s new modeling show competition and personal fuck you to Tyra Banks, Nigel Barker included.  In a word, the show is sublime.  Naomi reigns over the panel in her royal cuntiness.  A well-past-her-prime Karolina Kurkova has the sense to steer clear of Mizz Campbell’s side eye, but naive Coco Rocha hasn’t proved so wise.  Naomi might shank the Jehovah’s Witness, and I simply can’t miss that.  Plus, when Coco Rocha actually speaks she might be one of the scariest looking humans I’ve ever seen.  It’s truly troubling.  (Her wedding video is worth a view though).  Don’t expect any actual modeling talent on this show – the girls are pretty much universally beat.  Watching The Face is all about basking in the glow of that iconic Campbell bitchery.   

 

Three for Thursday + The Conversation

First, congratulations to Giuliana and Bill, who predictably selected the gestational carrier option in their quest for offspring that shares their genetic material.  Will they include the child in next season of their reality show?  I predict the calculated couple film the whole entire birth, hand-off, and reception.  Just a hunch.  Second, Tyra fired Nigel, Miss J and Mr. Jay!  That’s everybody.  I don’t even watch ANTM anymore, but really what is Top Model without those three? Third, you’re watching Girls right?  I enjoyed Tiny Furniture, and after two episodes of Girls, I think I’m enjoying it too.  I’m cautiously optimistic for the painfully self-aware HBO series.Gonna tune in tonight to watch The Conversation with Amanda de Cadenet?  (Ever seen Fall?  1997 cult classic.  Look into it.  Fun fromage.)  Gwyneth is on the premiere.  The Conversation will be annoyingly pretentious and therefore unmissable.

Sunday with Tyra Banks

Sunday with Kimora

Sunday with Oprah

ANTM does Mad Men

Anybody catch ANTM’s Cassandra Jean on the Mad Men finale playing Carolyn Jones?  If you remember way back, she’s the pageant girl who freaked out when Tyra tried to cut her hair like Mia Farrow in Rosemary’s Baby

P.S.  I knew Joan didn’t have that abortion.

KAREN ELSON: THE GHOST WHO WALKS

Let’s face it, most models turned musicians make pretty shitty records.

Remember Naomi’s gem, Baby Woman?  Yeah, I know, it was huge in Japan.

How could we forget Tyra’s embarrassing single Shake Ya Body, for which she shot a video on ANTM? Even the models who put out semi-successful records have never been taken very seriously.

Like Milla Jovovich

…and even Carla Bruni.

Karen Elson’s debut solo album, The Ghost Who Walks, has a southern, gothic, bluesy, atmospheric sound from a bygone era.  It is no surprise this record came from a vintage store owner; she captures a lush sense of nostalgia.Don’t let the model thing dissuade you, if you like Jenny Lewis or Norah Jones, give The Ghost Who Walks a listen.