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I come in close contact with at least 20-40 people everyday, and therefore I do my best to combat hot breath. I prefer Altoids Smalls because they do not contain gelatin. Diminutive yet powerful, I can discreetly pop a mini-mint and still carry on a conversation unobstructed. For high-quality kissing, consider these a pre-smooch ritual.
Tell you what I can’t stop munching: Boulder Canyon Natural Foods Sweet Potato Fries. Many of you will understandably cringe at the use of the term “mouth feel,” but it’s true. The mouth feel of the sweet potato fry is mega addictive. Buy two bags because you will tear through the first one almost immediately. In case you’re worried that they are gross, limp, or greasy – don’t – they are airy, crisp, salty, and light. Softly crunchy. Very enjoyable.
I love my friend Dez. She’s one of the most generous, kind, and attentive friends in my circle. I was utterly delighted when she asked me to dinner last night at a nearby bar. This place isn’t fancy, but I wouldn’t call it a “dive” per se. Local bar. Bar food. Hipsters, but still sports on screens. You get it. So Dez orders her buffalo burger, and I order my veggie burger. The dry house-made black bean burger is not spectacular, but palatable. I didn’t specifically ask, but Dez seemed content enough with her buffalo meat. Neither of us finished our food, but we didn’t send it back either. As we are winding up our meal, a shocked and curious look came over Dez’s face. My back was to a long row of windows facing the street, so I figured one of her Plenty-of-Fishermen passed by or something.
“WHAT?!” I asked.
“There’s a roach on the wall.” She replied calmly. Dez is a fantastic nurse, so she knows how to maintain composure when lesser women might squeal with girlish horror. I turned and at shoulder height, in no particular rush, was an inch long roach. I immediately switched seats away from our little friend and stared incredulously at its unmitigated gall. This isn’t the roach prom, why are you out here parading around little guy?We had already turned our payment over to the waitress. She brought around our charge slips. I pulled her in closer, looked her in the eyes, and said “there’s a roach on the wall.” She looked up and said, “Oh, I’ll tell the manager.” And that was it. No reaction. No capturing and killing of the roach. No apologetic manager. No apologetic waitress. No begging to keep this little incident off Yelp. Concerning non-reaction, no?
So now that it is over, can we admit a few truths about Thanksgiving? I hear a lot of people say that Thanksgiving is their favorite holiday. When you peel away all the layers of butter and get to the core intention of gratitude, I understand the appeal of the holiday. However in my practical experience, Thanksgiving celebrations rarely reflect that core intention.One of the most annoying aspects of Thanksgiving is the collective white-washing we find so comforting with regard to the historical facts surrounding early settlers’ contact with native people. Why are we still spewing this happy pilgrim / helpful native bullshit? Not to get all preachy, but how ’bout we use Thanksgiving to highlight other examples of neo-colonialist exploitation happening right now? Or better yet, take a trip to a Reservation and show the kiddies how great it worked out for those helpful “Indians.” Even though this isn’t a new criticism, there’s still no new narrative. Thanksgiving has become more a celebration of gluttony than gratitude. Now I’m going in on the food – which if you actually think about it is really disgusting. The traditional Thanksgiving spread is a depressing two note tune. SWEET or SAVORY. There is usually nothing raw, scant spice, and little in the way of contrast. Veggies drown in heavy sauces or casseroles. Fruits slug through sugary syrups. Almost everything else is brown or white. Every year experts hotly debate the best way to prepare a moist turkey. Brine?! Parchment?! Deep fry?! Newsflash. Any which way you prepare the turkey it will be dry and gross. That’s because turkey is innately dry and gross. No amount of submerging, poking, or braising the bird will change this eternal truth. I watch people saw away at dry turkey every year. No one ever compliments the turkey. They compliment everything but the turkey.
The art of conversation is apparently lost. People truly don’t know how to communicate with one another anymore. A series of rapid-fire questions isn’t a conversation; it’s an interrogation. Don’t force me talk about being a vegetarian when everyone at the table is eating meat. Don’t ask about work. This isn’t a job interview. I hate small talk. There is an art to finding interesting and inclusive topics of conversation. Engaging the group requires social tactical skill. Cultivate it. Myself included.
…to spend the day with kind, welcoming, and gracious people.…even though I’m working today; it’s a blessing because I love my job. …for access to abundant fresh foods to prepare and share.…most of all for you! Happy Thanksgiving! ♥ DC
I admit I long for the classic marshmallow-topped sweet potatoes every year at Thanksgiving, but I never get to enjoy them because of the non-vegetarian friendly gelatin in the marshmallows. This year will be different because of Dandies vegan marshmallows. In texture, taste, and quality they equal or exceed regular non-vegetarian marshmallows without relying on gelatin or non-vegan sugar. Substitute Dandies for this year’s topping so EVERYONE can enjoy the sweet potatoes. Yum!
Cheesy, flaky, buttery Tiropitas, so simple, so right.Perfectly Tomato-sauced OrzoLoukoumathes – honey-nut covered fried dough balls. Paradise. Saganaki: flaming cheese. Opa! required. Spanakopita, spinach and cheese pie surrounded in flaky phyllo.Baklava, obviously.Let’s Get Hellenic Bitches.
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