Tag Archives: Viola Davis

2012 Oscars Style Review: The Best, The Worst, The Most, The Toast

The Best: Emma Stone in Giambattista Valli

This gorgeous gown fit her body perfectly, accentuated her tiny waist, and stood out in a sea of mediocrity.  Don’t love the accessories, but I’m not in the mood to quibble.

You Saw It Here First: Shailene Woodley in Valentino Couture

Fresh from the couture collections, Shailene Woodley wore this modern, white, long-sleeved number.  It might look familiar since we featured it as part of the best of Fall 2012 Couture earlier this month.  It’s a little old for her, and her face would benefit from a pop of color, but not a flop by any means.

Most Confusing: Viola Davis in Vera Wang

This looks like the homicide of Puff the Magic Dragon.  A full-on unmitigated lapse in aesthetic judgment.

Fulfilled Potential: Tina Fey in Carolina Herrera

We’ve all been waiting for Tina Fey to step out looking this good.  Finally, she’s really come into her own in this navy peplum-detailed gown.

Evoking a Cult Leader: Gwyneth Paltrow in Tom Ford

I’m not saying I don’t like this, but she’s delivering a whole lot of white here.  Can’t you picture her standing at a podium condescendingly addressing an arena full of Goopies in this odd get-up?   “Follow me, affluent women, to the land of organic peas…”

Most Offensive Overtry: Jennifer Lopez in Zuhair Murad

Nude illusion Fruit Stripe Gum.

Culmination of a Bad Fashion Awards Season Run: Jessica Chastain

Fashion-wise, Chastain hasn’t found her identity.  Her style choices were as varied and uneven as her performances this year.  It looks like she skinned Kimora Lee’s sofa.  Let this be a lesson – McQueen is not for everyone.

Let Me Upgrade You: Clooney in Armani, Keibler in Marchesa

Clooney’s clout ensures his girls-of-the-moment have access to all the best fashion houses and some very high-end clothes, but even in all their borrowed sartorial finery, his dates still look like they should be holding cards above their heads in the middle of a wrestling ring.

Most Predictable: Pitt in Tom Ford and Jolie in Versace Atelier

I’m so bored with these two.  Oh, how fucking shocking you two bitches showed up in black.  Close your legs dear, you’re not dancing the can-can.  Ever since I heard that thing she said to him at the Globes, I’ve kinda hated them.  She turned to him and said “you’re prettier than me.”  Fucking voms yo.

The Bridesmaids: Kristin Wiig in J. Mendel

While the bodice of this dress is tailored beautifully for her body, the placement of the break into the texture is awkward and unflattering.

Melissa McCarthy in Marina Rinaldi

Are we calling this mauve?  I’m pretty sure we issued a fatwa on mauve at the end of the 80′s.

Maya Rudolph in Johanna Johnson

Here’s one of the few purple looks of the night.  It’s a safe, conservative, and unoffensive choice.  The side-swept hair is very Mariah.

Building Relationships Pays Off: Octavia Spencer in Tadashi Shoji

After favorable reviews from fashion folk for her Globes look, Octavia went back to Tadashi Shoji for her Oscar gown.  Clearly, cultivating that relationship has paid off; the designer knows her body and the fit is beautiful.  Second best of the night.

Dress I wanna like, but Don’t: Cameron Diaz in Gucci

I really want to like this Gucci gown, but I don’t.  She needs a waist and this dress gives her no shape through the torso.  It reminds me of a melting chocolate and vanilla soft-serve twist cone.

Consistently Wasted Potential: Michelle Williams in Louis Vuitton

This dress is too fussy, ill-fitting, and heavy for such a delicate wisp of a girl.  This ensemble ain’t right – the necklace, the bag (and I get where they are going with the clash, but here, no), and that gawd awful frump of a saloon-girl-gone-wrong disaster of a frock.

Sure to be Critically EvisceratedRooney Mara in Givenchy

No one will get this.  Even if they did, the cut isn’t flattering to her body.  If you do avant-garde, you have to do it impeccably.

Post-baby Blah: Natalie Portman in vintage Dior

She gave birth to a new era of shitty style.

Two A-List Underwhelmers: Sandra Bullock in Marchesa and Penelope Cruz in Giorgio Armani.

Sandra’s dress isn’t doing her body any favors.  Is a gold shrub trying to munch her bush?  WTF?  Pene, you are almost forty, enough with the princess shit.  Join us in 2012.

2012 SAG Awards: saggy nutsackery

No single attendee of the the 2012 SAG Awards snatched “best dressed” by a landslide; rather this red carpet showed subtle improvements – like Tilda Swinton in Lanvin, and not so subtle disappointments like a gawd-awful green Emily Blunt in Oscar de la RentaMany will point to Lea Michele in Versace as best dressed.  Does she look good?  Yes.  Would I be disgusted with myself to name her best dressed?  Yes.  I’m just not personally feeling this silhouette right now.  Even though certain designers are pushing this awkward tea length it’s so hard to wear, as proven by Emma Stone in Alexander McQueen. Michelle Williams wore Valentino.  From the waist up, it is magnificent.  The shoes and bracelet aren’t right.  I’m torn on the subtle asymmetrical hem.  She werks the Mia Farrow better than anyone, no?Jessica Chastain let Calvin Klein sculpt her bosom to delightful results.  One of the best of the night.  What the fuck Kristen Wiig?  Explain this deranged necklace choice.  Shame on you for ruining a Balanciaga with a bad choker. Shall we discuss the couples?  Pitt wore Balenciaga and Jolie wore a Jenny Packham gown reminiscent of a Hefty bag.  Clooney wore Armani and Keibler wore a boring black lace Marchesa.  Is the dress boring or is she?  Both?Me likey Melissa McCarthy’s drapey Badgley Mischka and Natalie Portman in Giambattista Valli too. Glenn Close went big in Zac PosenDiane Lane wasted her incredible body in David Meister. Vergara and Bowen in Marchesa and Temperely London respectively.  I’m not moved by either.Weird whites: Rose Byrne taking a risk in a jumpsuit, (p.s. Is she filming the Anna Wintour biopic with that new hair?)…Zoe Saldana wore Givenchy and it didn’t photograph well.  Viola Davis brought the twins to the party in Marchesa. Let’s end on a high note with Kyra in Pucci, though let this serve as a cautionary tale against tattoos.  The ink on the rib cheapens the look.

The Help

Finally saw The Help yesterday.  I completely agree with most of the criticisms of the movie.  The white protagonist, soft-core telling of the violent struggles of the civil rights movement, and the broad stereotyping of domestic workers definitely cast a white-devil cloud over the story.  These very same critiques kept me away from the book.  Though flawed, The Help is enjoyable.  The story plods along like Mississippi in July, but when it finally gains a little momentum, it fills out to a fluffy little white-guilt souffle.  Villainous Junior Leaguer Hilly Holbrook (played by Bryce Dallas Howard) mean-girls her way through Jackson, tormenting members of both races indiscriminately.  Her bitchery alone warrants a rental.Octavia Spencer shines as Minny, and veterans Allison Janney and Sissy Spacek turn in reliably fantastic performances.  Emma Stone doesn’t completely embarrass herself, but she fails to stand out among the seasoned ensemble.