Rookie lesbian Saj and her girlfriend of one month Chanel burned through the courtship period of their relationship and jumped right to the bickering. This classic lesbian relationship foible of too-much-too-soon ruins so many unions before they even get started that it has become a gay shorthand cliché.Uncontrollably aroused by the spin cycle, Saj insisted on excessive PDA, going so far as to pin Chanel in a variety of compromising positions at the laundromat. Embarrassed and smothered, Chanel literally had to fight off her aggressive advances.How can you tell when a lesbian is desperate to reproduce? She hits up the Catholic fucking Church to light a candle for whatever Saint bestows such miracles. (St. Jude, patron saint of lost causes perhaps?) Kacy did just that, hoping a pew and a prayer would result in a preggers Cori.Sadly, Cori came home that night with symptoms of menstruation and not pregnancy. Just to be absolutely sure, she wasted a pregnancy test to confirm what she already knew was true. The couple’s first attempt at insemination failed. Supportive Kacy cushioned the disappointment by procuring two cigarettes which the two smoked with heavy hearts.Claire’s “other Asian” flew in from NYC to nurse the brat’s wounded ego after Franny wasn’t feeling her selfishness. Personally, Vivian is more physically attractive, but Franny’s got more personality and verve. Vivian donned this infantilizing pedo-bait lingerie and played little girl lezzie for her sexy time reunion.Well aware of Vivian’s arrival, jealousy and spite drove Franny to inform HBIC Whitney that she and the other girls had been the subject of Claire’s criticism concerning their jobs, looks, and style. Franny is quite the little shit stirrer, going so far as to provide textual support for her claims. Skills for life people, skills for life. DO NOT repeat something that you know will hurt someone’s feelings. Remain suspicious if a person reveals mean secondhand gossip about you to your face; the bearer of the message has an agenda and cares more about manipulating you than about your hurt feelings. At Haute, Whitney confronted Claire on Franny’s accusations. Clearly rattled, she unconvincingly denied smack talking the other castmates. Whitney more or less saw through Claire’s denials, but really didn’t seem all that upset about being called a “professional partier.” She’s admitted as much herself this season.With Vivian and Claire together, Franny felt extra insecure and launched a new round of petty attacks. Eventually, Claire and Franny ended up on the same sofa where Franny blew up at Claire in a scene Viv aptly described as “messy.” Indeed, the screaming match between Claire and Franny caused a loud public scene, but the fact that Viv sat there silently like an obedient geisha while her girlfriend was getting reamed explains why Claire revisited fiery Franny in the first place.Franny threw a “landscaping party,” which is basically an excuse for her friends to do her yard work in exchange for free booze. At the get-together, Chanel started feeling sorry for herself and threw a pity party of her own in the bathroom. Her childish behavior had Saj chasing after her at first. As Chanel persisted in her antics however, Saj got super aggravated and decided to quit the relationship. Break-ups like these usually don’t stick, but Chanel stormed out anyway for dramatic effect.
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