I feel strongly about marriage proposals which is probably why I haven’t been on the receiving end of one. I believe in speaking to the parents first (credit to Kanye). Give them an opportunity to object if they find the match unsuitable. Proposals should be well-reasoned and planned (points for the orchestra). Engagements should not happen as a reaction to a fight, a pregnancy test, or a health scare. Take a knee. Present a picture of an enticing life together. Make promises you intend to keep. Make eye contact and be sincere.Know what isn’t included in the simple list above, Kanye? A fucking Jumbotron. No woman really wants to be proposed to by a giant machine. It is so insincere and impersonal. For someone who is willing to smack a photographer to protect his privacy, a stadium-size proposal isn’t exactly discreet. But you know what really chaps my ass about the Kanye-Kim proposal? He stacked it on the top of a birthday. There is nothing lazier than using the excitement of another event to prop up a lame and ill-thought out bid to wed. No piggybacking on Christmas; hiding the ring under the tree with the socks and sweaters isn’t sufficiently special. Proposers really shouldn’t hitch their request to the champagne-high of New Year’s. An inquiry of this magnitude deserves its own day, its own care, and its own attention. Yes, he threw some money at it, but ultimately: Lazy proposal = Lazy-ass husband.
Home > Wedding