Tag Archives: Whatever

FB = cutesy cat poster

FB FINGEROk, so hell hath frozen over or whatever because my social media coordinator forced me to get a Facebook page.  I have staunchly avoided having a FB page.  I’ve always considered FB invasive, time-wasting, mundane, and stupid.  Gsus, was I right or was I right?   This is what you guys have been doing this whole time on the interwebs? Back in the 80’s everyone had these nauseatingly cutesy cat posters like these….HANG IN THERE OH SHITFacebook is the modern intellectual equivalent of staring at these fucking cat posters all day.  Do you think anyone gives a fuck?  I do not give a fuck about your upbeat life quote staged against a sunset.  Fucking gross, yo.  Of course, I care what is really happening with people, but none of that seems to be on FB.   (And KB, if you’re reading, this is not a dig at your Moshi post.  Moshi is allowed.)  And as an aside, what is this “poking” shit?  Poking is aggressive. KITTEN BURGER

Honestly, I’m just there to shill.  My professional FB page will never contain personal content.  From a business building standpoint, I understand why my social media coordinator forced me to launch with a three-prong approach (website, FB, IG), but now that I’m actually on the book of faces, it’s even more inane then I originally thought.  I will begrudgingly participate because it is required, but deep down you know the truth: I hate you, Facebook, and we’re not friends.   FB FACES

Martha Stewart Gossip: Part I

My interest in Martha Stewart revolves mainly around her daughter, Alexis, who co-hosts the hilarious show Whatever, Martha! with the lovely Jennifer Koppelman Hutt.

When I heard that there was a new tell-all about Martha written by her former close friend Mariana Pasternak, my interest was mildly piqued.

The book is called Best of Friends, and it is a four hundred page doozy.  I’m about half way through, but I already have some juicy gossip for you, so I’ll break my review into two parts.First off, don’t get it twisted, this is one self-serving book.  Pasternak’s overwrought writing style is self-indulgent and distracting, but she retains quite a bit of detail from her memories of the 90’s.  Here are a few gems from the first two hundred pages.

 

Martha was infuriated her husband Andy had an affair with Erica Jong because she “writes about having sex!”Martha dated and probably fucked Charlie Rose.Martha was supposed to be on the ill-fated Sandy Pittman 1996 Everest climb where eight people died.  She and Blaine Trump backed out at the last minute.In the early days when Martha ran a catering company, she had Alexis do some cooking for her.  This was back when Alexis was in middle school.  One evening, Alexis made madeleines and apparently they were too dark for Martha, so she awoke Alexis in the middle of the night, on a school night, and demanded she make a new batch! No wonder Alexis grew up to mock her mother professionally.  I’d be fucking resentful too.