Halloween is just a week away, so it is officially time to start panicking over a costume.  Beware of these common dress-up blunders to avoid humiliation, mockery, and generally making an ass of yourself this year.

Don’t go too slutty.  Did we learn anything from Kelly Taylor’s turn as a slutty witch on that classic Halloween episode of BH 90210?  Don’t be a desperate shivering bitch tromping around in next-to-nothing.  Halloween is not an excuse to act out your deepest exhibitionist fantasy in public.  Go with a clever rather than cooter-revealing costume to elicit legit attention.  On this same tip, dressing up as Snooki is so 3 years ago and totally forbidden.Don’t overly complicate.  Returning to BH 90210, (where all of life’s most essential lessons are learned), don’t pull a Donna Martin mermaid moment and wear some get-up that restricts basic mobility.  Everyone will snicker behind your back and it smacks of over-effort. On the other end of the spectrum, Don’t go too cutesy.  The most successful costumes frighten, disguise, imitate, or evoke humor.  If you wanna go pretty-pretty princess, throw on an old prom dress, pour fake blood over your head, and go as Carrie.