Tag Archives: WWD

Tori & Dean: Baby Making and Inventori Taking

Tori and Dean sucked us into this season by launching the episode with the stork depositing Scout and Bill’s newborn adopted baby SimoneScout and Bill are the least annoying part of this two-bit crew, so Mazel!  A spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down, and the arrival of this little blessed bundle made for a more easily digestible reunion with Tori and the gang.The time line leapt ahead several months and caught up with Tori and Dean fussing over their hoarder-style garage.  As you know, Tori fancies herself an antique collector.  This bitch tries on new careers like underwear and this week her bright idea is a “pop-up store” (puke) where she can unload all her crap at marked-up prices to the gullible star-worshiping public.  Tori labors under the misapprehension that just because she rubbed her vadge up against something it makes it more valuable.Under rather fishy circumstances, Tori and Dean commit to a commercial lease of undetermined length at the first place they looked, which was an oddly-shaped disaster of a half-finished space Tori envisioned staging as an actual house.  How clever.As an aside, did you hear that Tori is single-handedly bringing back the faux-fur caplet?  Alert Women’s Wear Daily.Tori wants to play “buyer” as her career this season and impose her self-proclaimed exquisite design aesthetic on others.  By opening a store, she surmises that she can now shop freely without guilt.  Rather than addressing her consumerism, she’d rather just reframe it as collecting “inventori” for her new store.  That’s some seriously fucked-up self-rationalization right there.Always realistic with scheduling, Tori and Dean set a one month deadline for the grand Valentine’s Day opening of Inventori.  When Hoardi visited her storage space she couldn’t seem to part with anything even though the gaudy crap is just collecting dust.  How much you think she pays a month for 30 full-service storage vaults at Wetzels?  I find storage space morally objectionable.  Intentionally and usefully steward the object or let it go.Did you pee your pants a little when Dean’s agent called with news he’d landed a role in the “sequel to Trainspotting?”  Wait for it…. titled, “Ecstasy.”  I’ll let you rub that in your skin for a minute.Even though this role of a lifetime means that Dean will miss the inaugural of Inventori, Tori was more relieved his ass is bringing in child support than disappointed about his upcoming absence.As we all well know, Tori got pregnant and had a baby this year.  The last half of the episode volleyed between Tori’s pregnancy suspicions and the merchandising of Tori’s second-hand overpriced tacky shit Inventori.Tori fussed over her sick, snotty-nosed children rather than tend to her latest half-cocked career plan.  She delegated the final shop details, so when she arrived with James she was appalled to discover that items had been priced within the realm of reason by professional appraisers.James and Tori scurried around removing price tags from items as the newly hired store manger looked on with horrified dismay.  Even with the pricing drama, Inventori pulled in enough on its first day to warrant a delighted squeal from Tori when the closing day receipts were revealed.The episode closed with the swap of Valentine’s Day gifts.  Dean emerged with another tired-ass necklace.  Tori wrapped up her pee stick pregnancy test and gave it to DeanTori got doe-eyed and coy, and Dean got über Canadian.  Not sure why the two acted surprised; they have a fucking sign in front of their house that says the “McDermott Baby Factory.”

The Rachel Zoe Project: Who’s buying?

Rachel arrived in New York and fussed with the final touches to the collection.  Jessica Iredale from Women’s Wear Daily arrived for a private preview.  Zoe described the collection to Iredale and not-so-subtly dropped the sex of her unborn child in the mix.  Interesting PR strategy.Overall, the color in the collection is off.  The camel isn’t quite right.  The gold buttons are a bit too garish.  It does feel very Studio 54 Halston-y and therefore true to Rachel’s aesthetic.  The larger problem is that her viewpoint is predictable and one-note.We all agree that creatively Zoe isn’t in the same stratosphere as Alexander Wang, right?  Put it this way – you’ve got $400 bucks are you gonna buy Wang, or are you going to buy the Rachel Zoe Collection?  Ask Lauren fucking Conrad.

Zoe themed with clichés like “the Parisian Girl” and “the London Girl” and “the Uptown Chic Girl.”  The buyers and editors humored her.  Nobody’s gonna to tell a pregnant woman her debut collection sucks, even in this cut-throat fashist crowd.The lemming buyers must have liked what they saw because more than one high-end department store scooped up the collection.  A QVC sell-through is one thing, but can Rachel attract a high-end shopper?  In Zoe’s case, what she lacks in design talent she overcompensates for in reality show exposure.  We’ll see how the collection sells with its well-timed commercial release.